What does it say about the times we live in that I’m hesitant to confess myself a Christian? It isn’t that I’m ashamed of my Lord Jesus Christ. I’m not. I’m ashamed, instead, of those who are touting themselves as Christians, yet have no spiritual fruit hanging on their vines. Even worse, I have to assess daily whether I am becoming one of them. It is …. exhausting.
Sadly, almost every horrible, unholy act I’ve experienced has been at the hands of a professing Christian. I wish there were some way to discern between those who profess their obedience to God’s word while disobeying every commandment, as opposed to those who actually live it quietly, allowing their voices to remain silent while their fruit speaks for itself.
I find the real Laborers of the Harvest tend to downplay their worthiness, while those who only use God as a social tool tend to up-play their part in His Kingdom. They ride triumphantly on the praise of others, yet forget that they are fallen creatures like the rest of us. More importantly, I must assess my spiritual inventory daily to make sure I am not falling into a hypocritical, false belief in my own adherence to God’s laws. I praise God daily that He has given my a check in those around me. I want to be a sincere follower, not simply surface, but devout.
What an exhausting world we live in now. I admit, I’m looking forward to things being put spiritually correct.
I think deep down, bloggers tend to be complainers. Just a little. Nothing over the top. And I am no exception. Somehow, it comforts me to write a post about how much life is sucking at the moment so other people can agree with me and/or encourage me enough, I can rise above my latest funk.
That being said, this is not one of those posts. This post is about how much my life has changed for the better lately. Monday, the temp job I’ve been working turned permanent, and with it, I was given an almost embarrassingly large raise. I’ve been eeking out an existence for years on lower than median wages for the kinds of jobs I was doing. To be where I belong financially… well, there simply are no words. I had orientation yesterday, and the list of benefits alone rendered me speechless. When I found out I was actually given more than I was initially led to believe I would receive, my head almost exploded with joy.
I’ve been walking around on air for a whole 24 hours now. I like what I do, who I do it for, and who I do it with. The fact that I can now easily afford to live my life on what I’m paid to do it just makes me so grateful.
In August 2012, I walked away from an exceptionally excellent provider in my husband, and embarked on a troubling, hunger-laden, thrift store shopping, journey to become independent. Yesterday, that particular journey concluded.
I’m not naive, and I know the Lord sharpens me with crises, but He loves me too, and I feel like He is letting me rest for a little while. There are other storms that will gather on the horizon of my life, but for now, I’m going to take a minute and just be happy about how my life feels right this minute.