Victim Time Is Over; Pull It Together, Dude

People annoy the everloving crap out of me sometimes. I know, I know. Mercy, forgiveness, empathy, compassion…yada, yada. But my truth lately has been, no matter how much you genuinely try to help some people, they will forget all of it completely, focus on only the parts that make them feel like victims, and paint for the world a story that is really mostly fictitious.

I’m not going to call anyone out by name. You know who you are. But here’s some things I’d like you to know.

Victim Number One: I didn’t fire you; you quit. You completely ignored the many conversations I had with you warning that you should always weigh the pros and cons of decisions and never go off half-baked. You brought your current circumstances on yourself. If you are a victim, it’s of your own crappy decisions.

Victim Number Two: It’s easy to sing the accolades of the present person you are relying on right this minute, and find fault with all the other people who tried to help you all along the way up to this point. I read some of the stuff you post on social network and I cringe because the picture painted is very much disingenuous. I don’t point out all the things you did while staying with me that caused me a lot of money and stress on these poor-me statements because I actually do want you to heal and be happy — more than I need stranger’s approval of my actions. But it is troubling that you don’t remember any of the steps others had to take with you in order to get you where you are now, and that tells me you haven’t learned a thing in this journey. Despite what you want others to think, you had a lot of people trying to help you along the way.

There is no shame in having life kick you in the teeth and needing help to reset and restart. But if you in turn kick in the teeth of the people along the way who tried to help you but in your own estimation, failed, than that’s something else entirely. You have moved past the time that you can consider yourself a victim. Multiple people showed you how much they loved you, supported you, and wanted you to succeed.

If you have to build your audience with those who feel pity for you by constantly pretending to be brave through a victim’s mentality, you are neither a victim nor are you brave. Get it together, dude. I expect better of you because I do know you. This is wrong, and you know it. I don’t write out the many, many things you failed me when living with me because your embarrassment is not something I would like at all; why would you paint a picture that is not true about me that would cause me to be hurt? Did I earn that?

~Bird