The Problem With Toxic Friendships

The Problem With Toxic Friendships

You know, it’s been a long time since someone has gotten close enough to hurt me, and upon this happening to me recently, I didn’t quite know what I was feeling. It wasn’t anything devastating like Chef or anything like that. It was a friend who turned out to be a user and not a real friend at all.

No worries.

I’m over it.

But apparently, she is not.

I don’t think she started out a user. But like all good enablers, I allowed her to grow so comfortable being able to rely on me so much, she somehow convinced herself I owed her these things. She became a lot of work for me. From the constant emotional meltdowns that had to be addressed, to the money she needed, to the constant whining about how someone was doing something unfair to her, including asking her to do her damn job – it was a lot. I got her jobs; gave her money; looked after her child; lent her my car; got her raises; and none of that even includes the real time suck – listening to her ramble on often incoherently about whatever perceived slight she was at the moment “enduring”.

When she left a few weeks ago, it was the same day I got covid and I got really sick. So, by the time I became well enough to deal with that whole mess, she had been constantly calling the other girl in the office to make sure she laid out how unfair everyone was treating her. She drinks a lot, so my guess is, there was a ton of fake tears too. In other words, she was trying to poison the well.

I haven’t said anything to her other than addressing her taking property from the office that wasn’t hers since then, but she sends little high school messages through the other girl. Talk about middle school nonsense. I look at the relationship I had with this girl for so long and wonder. How did I not see how juvenile and narcissistic she was? She never lets anyone finish a sentence. She interrupts mid-sentence with whatever garbage she wants to talk about, not even pretending to have heard a thing you’ve said. She’s never wrong, so she never has to apologize; but let someone treat her exactly the way she treats everyone else, and she “won’t be disrespected”. It’s amazing how hypocritical she is. I thought she was honest too, but then I find out about so many lies, including messing up something in her office and blaming the owner and me. The cameras proved neither of us had been in the office since she had quit, thus proving she did it herself to get people to feel sorry for her. Are you kidding me?

How did I miss all of this? Ugh. Today, the other girl gently encouraged us to reach out to her and I firmly ended that conversation forever. I don’t owe anyone my friendship and loyalty. And if I can’t trust you, you can’t be a friend of mine.

Yes. She knows about this blog, and I’m sure she probably checks on here from time to time to see if she can get a rise out of me. I’ve blocked her from everything else.

Here it is, girl. You aren’t who I thought you were, and I won’t be sucked into whatever weird childish game you are trying to play. It’s over. Move on. I have.

Bird

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