Over the last few years, I’ve chilled out a little bit. I’m not as quick to get angry about stupid stuff, and I’ve gotten a little better at thinking before I speak. That being said, I’m still woefully subject to losing my sh!t over passive aggressive nonsense.
It isn’t like I’ve never done something in a passive aggressive manner before. I totally have. If the power structure has me on the weaker end, it is almost human nature to go there. At the end of my marriage, I did those covert emotional guerilla attacks towards Don. I was mad, and they were the best way to make sure he was feeling the same way.
But, over time, that seemed like a pathetic way to express myself. I found that a direct conversation was much more fulfilling, more honest, and tended to get matters handled favorably quicker.
Flash forward to now. I’ve been dealing with someone that I do love, but who uses this form of expressing herself whenever she feels insecure or in a bad mood. It’s happened enough times lately that it has really damaged how I feel about her, and has added more stress to me in a time when I’m dealing with something really hard in my personal life.
It’s easy to point to someone else and tell them how they should behave, but the truth is, I have got to stop being triggered by this nonsense. I’m not responsible for her behavior; I am, however, responsible for how I react. So, I’m deciding today to be alert when I see this beginning to happen, adjust my own behavior accordingly, and stop letting this be my kryptonite.
Wish me well! 🙂