Betting on the Winning Side

Hindsight-funny-Star-Wars-quoteI have come to the realization that I’m totally a supernerd. I love Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, and all things technology.

I won’t lie. Lately, I’ve had a crisis of faith. While I hold steadfastly to my belief in God, I sometimes wonder, does He believe in me?

I feel like I let God down constantly. I have a quick temper. I have a judgemental nature. I’m never even close to not being a complete sinner. It sometimes feels like this life is impossible. I can’t be godly. I’m too ungodly.

That’s all true. But today, I think I have a different understanding of God. Does God laugh at our attempts to create alternate realities? I don’t think so. I think He understands we were made in His image, and creating reality is His best work. Did He know I would find technology incredible and alluring before He called my name? He did. I am not worthy to be called His child, but He knew long before I did, I never would be. Instead, He knew how low I would fall, but He called me anyways. I appreciate His mercy. I appreciate His trust. I will fail Him, but I will always try not to.

Sometimes, we just have to decide which side of the line we will hold to. I don’t want an existence that means nothing. Maybe I’m a fool. I doubt it. But if I am, I won’t have the awareness after death to understand I was wrong. To me. I’m betting on the winning side.


7 responses to “Betting on the Winning Side”

  1. I love your philosophy. I, too, wonder what the Powers That Be think of our populating the galaxy. But I also believe God encourages creativity. Otherwise he wouldn’t have put it in our souls. P.S. I’m a Star Trek kinda girl…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have to question your words a little… “I don’t want an existence that means nothing.”
    You are a mother… You think your existence means nothing to your children? Or your parents? What about your friends? What about the person that is helped by any small amount you give to charity.
    Do you think your existence means nothing to them?

    Life is not about the end… It’s about the bit that comes before it.

    And for the record. I am an Atheist… But if there is a heaven I would be in there… Except that I am an Atheist. So I will burn forever in torment.

    Oh… And Transformers is so better than Battlestar Galactica… B-)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve gone through this, Bird. Especially after my 20 year marriage ended and the things my ex-husband had done to my daughter. I have been a Christian since I was nine, but during this path in my life, I questioned God, was angry with him, and couldn’t understand why all this happened. So I left my faith and decided to do things on my own. That didn’t work out so well either. 🙂 Fortunately, my daughter held fast to her faith even through the horrible things that happened to her and that helped me come back. It’s not easy when then fall apart and you can’t understand what’s happening but as I look back at things, I believe that God delivered us from him although I couldn’t see that at the time. We have all moved forward. His sin lead him sleeping with a 16 yr old and has spent the last 15 years in jail. God has a way of vindicating people in the end. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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