Postcard From Hell – IAmNotCrazyDammit

addiction 4This has been, sadly, a busy week for addicts around the world. My email has been blowing up with people dealing with a loved one on meth. I’m at work, but this poor person left a comment on here (below) and I feel like I should bring it to your attention. A ton of you helped me with your wisdom and advice, sharing your own story, and your prayers. Would you help this poor woman? I remember this pain. 😦

Iamnotcrazydammit: “I don’t know how I got to Satans Fav Drug blog, searching in desperation for someone ANYONE who knows where I am right now because I am so lost!! Then I turned to this story, blog whatever we call these – I got as far as my son DJ and haven’t been able to stop crying yet like WHOA HOLY HELL IS THIS MY FUTURE ME IVE FOUND!! I’m hurting so bad right now, even wanted to just NOT WAKE UP at times, I finally know what it’s like to be IN LOVE with someone and my life is so twisted, along with my head right now I’m about to loose everything and I don’t even care. There is no happy ending where we get to keep our husbands and live happily ever after is there? I’m in a very dark scary place and I just want so bad for him to MEAN WHAT HE SAYS AND SAY WHAT HE MEANS. How do you walk away? How do I make myself walk away from something I care for so much? This hurts.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I can tell you are in excruciating pain. I wish desperately that I could tell you that it is going to all be okay soon, but the truth is, we have to walk right through the belly of the beast. I wish I weren’t at work right now. I can tell you need a shoulder to cry on. Don’t despair. You are not crazy; Yes, this hurts like a motherfucker; Yes, there’s lots of people who know EXACTLY what you are saying here, and EXACTLY how much this can devastate a person; Yes, it’s okay if you can’t walk away yet. I will definitely be talking to you after work. In the meantime, I’m going to post this on my blog, so the same people who helped me find my way can see there is someone else needing help.

It’s okay to be sad. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?”

For those of you who sent me emails, I haven’t forgotten you. I will respond after work, okay?



5 responses to “Postcard From Hell – IAmNotCrazyDammit”

  1. I’m not crazy either, but it’s a miracle I’m not. I am wondering about my son’s mental health though. If I tried to describe on this blog what he’s done, and what I’ve been through because of it, people would think I made it up just for drama, or to get on the Jerry Springer show. It’s not always all drugs fault; It starts with really bad life choices and escalates from there. But the drugs are the gateway to hell.
    Pain comes in all kinds of packages, and yes, it does hurt the ones we/they love the most. I feel for anyone going through this black hole of despair. Christ keeps me from losing it and will help anyone that reaches out to Him for help. That’s about all I can say cause I’m still going through it. Just when I thought I was done with all this after my ex and I, (he died from his addictions), then this started all over again. You can’t divorce or walk away from an adult child.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks Bird. Ya know, I’ve been around since you started your blog; back when things started tanking over the spouses meth and related abuses. All I can tell folks coming here for hope, is that if you can make it through and come out on the other side still in one piece, and not only that, but carve out a new life for yourself…..anyone can if they choose to do so. Not saying easy, (as we both know), just do-able…… with time……lots of time.
    Bless you bunches

    Liked by 3 people

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