The Walking Weary

I’ll admit it. I’m really sick of the ups and downs I have been experiencing for over three years now. I’m tired. Not afraid. Not depressed. Not hopeless. Not angry. Not bitter. Just plain exhausted. Now I understand the scripture Isaiah 40:31 :

 31 Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Note the order: first we fly; then we run; but it is the reference to those of us walking that points out actual weariness. The order of this scripture is not a mistake. The newness of burdens being lifted and the general exhilaration of a new hope feels a lot like flying. But after awhile, when you start to graduate from Christian preschool into some of the harder lessons, you don’t just fly through those. There is more work involved, steeper consequences, sterner lessons. Then you get to where I am now. Just walking is a struggle. Rarely do I fly through anything anymore, and run? Pfff. Unlikely. My lessons require walking. They are bigger, more complicated, and multi-layered. And they weary me. Just to drag myself from my bed is a true challenge some days.

Lucky for me, back in the days when I could still walk and not get tired, I did learn to keep going. I learned that no matter what is going on, there is an end eventually. I’m not saying it is a good end or a bad one. Just that there is always an end. That’s how I keep crawling along. I will run with endurance the race set before me……I have invested too much in it by now to give up now. But I will admit, I am bone tired.

Today, I went looking for His new strength, and in a way, I found it. So, since He was the Ultimate Author, I will leave His Words in tact. He cannot be improved on.

Malachi 3:16
Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.

2 Corinthians 4:17
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Psalm 126:5
Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.

Psalm 16:10-11 For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay. You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Luke 7:37 And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, 38 and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.”

Psalm 126:5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.

Psalm 56:8 You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

~ Bird