For the life of me, I don’t understand why my past doesn’t let go so easily and just leave me alone. It rears its ugly head in weird and unexpected ways, always trying to make sure I remember it is there. This accusation came from left field, and was the exact kind of thing that irritated me so much during my time there. Accusations based on nothing but the word of someone else, easily and consistently proven untrue, and the worst part, so completely out of character for me in the first place, they insult me to my very core.
Maybe I over-reacted; I don’t really know that I did. I left that behind, and it seems to be trying to follow me.
I guess the part that irritated me so much I had to write about it, is the attitude that I answer to someone who no longer has any power whatsoever over me, but doesn’t seem to realize that yet. I can’t be disciplined, or docked, or ostracized, or fired anymore by this person, and yet I’m spoken to as if I answer to him. If ya ain’t my daddy, dude….
I should not have allowed him to get under my skin like that; my bad. His incorrect assumptions are not my problem anymore, and any underscore of threats being conveyed to me are idle ones. I fell into an easy trap, got angry, and lashed out. I apologize. #oopsididitagain
Because nothing good comes from situations like these, especially given my rather quick temper and mean tongue, I won’t be accepting anymore phone calls from certain people again. The purposes are never for anything other to harass, upset, or generally disturb me, and nothing more. If you have a problem you think I caused, do whatever it is you need to do to fix it. I don’t have anything I need to be afraid of, so there is nothing I fear might come to light.
Today, I woke up to kind remarks, sweet texts, nice emails, and a general gentle concern from expected and unexpected people in my life, from everywhere, and I am overwhelmed with peace and a better perspective. Thank every last one of you; especially those of you who gently made fun of me. Nothing gets me out of my funk like a little laughter, even at my own expense.
You all rock. My list of important people increased dramatically.
Hope you all have the best of days today!
Bird — feeling chill in Austin, Texas.
PS: Thanks, Exodus! Once again, you made me laugh like a hyena. 🙂