Sparrow the Terrible

I only have tiny bit of time before I have to get to work, so today, this post is about my terrible dog, Sparrow.

As you all know, Sparrow, Oliver, and I are staying with my cousins, Red & Marlboro, in Red Rock, Texas. This is a very rural area, with oil rigs pumping up and down constantly, cows everywhere, coyotes, and wide swathes of land. Sparrow and Oliver love roaming around in the patches of thick tree groves, running about pretending to round up cattle, and exploring all manner of plant and animal life they come across.

Because they are disobedient and exceptionally intelligent, the only time they are allowed to roam free like this is when I am there to watch them. Red either takes them outside on leashes or uses some long dog ties to tether them within the vicinity of the house. Sparrow, however, finds this unacceptable, and this week, she found a way to do what she wants, when she wants. Last weekend, she busted through the side of the window unit in my room, and had a fine old time for about 4 hours. We had to patch up the hole with some card board. A day or two later, she did the same thing to the living room air conditioning unit, because now I keep my door closed when I’m not there. To make that time more fun, Marlboro, who is not a well man, tried catching her and bringing her back inside, with no luck. He was very frustrated. No one can catch Sparrow when she doesn’t want to be caught. Again, we patched up the hole with cardboard.

Then Wednesday came. Sparrow’s Masterpiece.

I leave the house each morning around 5:30 am. My work hours are 7:00 am to 3:30 pm, but Austin is crazy, crazy hard to get around in, and I live 30 minutes away on top of that. Coming home takes me another 45 minutes, and I don’t always leave right at 3:30 pm if I’m busy doing something at work. Wednesday was like that. A major car accident caused me to be late to work by an hour and half, which threw off everything else about my day. So, when it was finally over, and I had trekked my way home, I was beyond exhausted and ready to just crash into my bed.

Instead, I walked into the house only to find, Red, Marlboro, and Sparrow had managed to have an even worse day than I had. Red’s friend, Whiskey, who does a little work around the place from time to time, seemed to be having a heart attack right there in our driveway that morning. Red, who is a little prone to panicking, called EMS, argued with Whiskey, the paramedics, and Whiskey’s girlfriend, and followed the ambulance to the hospital in her Jeep. Oliver and Sparrow were left inside the house. Marlboro, unbeknownst to us, wasn’t feeling well so had decided to stay in bed. Basically, Oliver and Sparrow had the run of the house for literally hours.

Sparrow, now on to this whole window unit weakness thing, found the third and last remaining unit in the house. This one is located in Red’s bedroom, and she easily tore through the accordion guards, and roamed to her heart’s content for several hours. Red briefly returned from the hospital to grab something, only to find Sparrow outside again, her own a/c compromised, and no patience left to deal with any of it. She used the tie outside, locked Sparrow on it, and headed back to the hospital.

The dog tie is attached to a tree right outside my bedroom window. Sparrow, no longer free to go where she wanted, and now hot and thirsty, broke IN through the side of my window unit and sat there, still tied up, but in the cool air for several hours until Red returned home. Red was so angry, Sparrow is lucky she didn’t get shot like the pony from before.

Red had a young man who helps out from time to time come and bolt metal plates around every window unit in the house, took two of her Valium, and called it a night. Considering what a pain in the ass my dog has been since day one, though, Red has been so sweet about all of it, and this was no different. She forgave us both, bought me my favorite food and drinks, and gave me a big hug when I got home from work yesterday. Awwww. She must really love me!!

Effing Sparrow.

~ Bird