5 Things I’ve Learned About City vs. Country People

2f82d83e50b263a9cb86371c62d6577aI’m learning a lot about country living, or more specifically, country people.

Now, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’m a city girl. Yes. I have a high tolerance for bugs, and I’ve had my fair share of snake interactions, but overall, I still think like a city girl. Some of the glaring differences between city dwellers and country folk I’ve learned this week alone are as follows:

  1. City people have a group of friends they hang with, and they are almost never neighbors. Just because our properties touch doesn’t mean we are going to get to know each other, and that includes names. Country people know names, dates, extended family members, what skeletons are in what closets, who comes and goes to your house for a visit, what your latest ailments are and which doctor you are seeing for them, and how regular your bowel movements have been for the last 30 years.
  2. City people know, if you accidentally hit an animal with your car, and it has a collar, you stop and call the number on the collar. Country people don’t. It is expected that your pet be smart enough to stay out of the road. If it isn’t, that’s just tough shit. Survival of the fitness, baby.
  3. In the city, if you hear a woman screaming, you call the police. In the country, you grab a gun, run to the porch, and look for that motherf*****g mountain lion that has been eating your chickens at night.
  4. In the city, you lock your windows and doors at night. In the country, if you lock your windows and doors at any time, you’re a pussy. Everyone around knows you have a gun since you used it on a few of them before.
  5. In the city, an expensive little sports car is a sign of success; in the country, it is a sign of stupidity. Nothing delights them more than to see a trendy little midlife-crisis mobile sitting on the side of the road with a flat tire and a driver waiting for AAA. Big effing trucks are a sign you rock in the country.


I’ll admit. I’m loving this education.

In other news, I start my new job Monday!!! Friday, I’m hanging out with Exodus, who in a fit of insomnia, designed an avatar of herself. Now, when you look at this thing, is there really any wonder why we hit it off so well?


Hope you all have as great a day as I am having!!

~ Bird

16 responses to “5 Things I’ve Learned About City vs. Country People”

  1. I have a little bit of both in me. I enjoy the peace and quiet of the country, but I also like having the ability to purchase a soda or a bag of Doritos at 3 in the morning if I am so inclined. That’s why I love living near the outskirts of town. 20 minutes to downtown in one direction, 20 minutes to the woods in the other direction. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent contrast! I am from NJ and NYC but now live in a redneck, snowbird, golfing, speckled with a bootload of nouveau riche. Mudders, shooters, golfers, alligators in every lake, and worst of all NO good take out. 🙂 But I am fortunate that I met a woman who I would have never met had I not moved here. She is my best friend and confidente, something I have not had in years. So I guess I am a bit of Eva Gabor – my husband moved me here.

    New York is where I’d rather stay.
    I get allergic smelling hay.
    I just adore a penthouse view.
    Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

    The chores.
    …The stores.
    …Fresh air.
    …Times Square

    You are my wife.
    Good bye, city life.
    Green Acres we are there 🙂

    Great post and good luck with your new job.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m like Nancy J… my husband moved me here. So far, no friends in sight, unless you count my dog, but it hasn’t even been six months so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that some female urban transplant will land here, lost and alone, and we will find each other, share a bottle of wine and feel the love. I never knew country people could be so clique-ish. It’s like they came over, pumped us for info about our lives, and then don’t have anything else to do with us. I have learned roundabout-ly that they text each other so I don’t doubt we’re THE gossip news around here being new “city folks” and all. Add to that the fact that we are not Caucasian and 98% of them are. There goes the neighborhood. Well, we did not move here to be popular so I suppose that’ll be alright. We also paid a kings ransom to construct our house so we are definitely not about to move! It will be worth it, it HAS to be worth it because the land itself is magical. It’s beautiful. The stars are so bright… yes, there’s more than the big dipper out there. The air is clean. There is NO crime, no sirens. Just serenity. I actually like the sound their farm animals make and it didn’t take me long to get used to coyotes yipping. So… I guess I’m here to stay. I’ll be in my kitchen making “hots cakes” in a feathered peignoir.

    Liked by 1 person

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