Missing My Children

For the last couple of weeks, my son has been in Missouri handling the consequences of bad decisions he made as a teenager. There is an end in sight, but it still feels like he won’t be home for ages. Rebekkah and I go through the motions of daily life, but the void is always there, hiding in everything we say and do. 

Mother’s Day is almost upon us, and at work, I hosted a Mother’s Day Photo Contest. Surprisingly, the thing didn’t really take off until I told one person that she could enter her deceased mother’s picture. A good percentage of the entrants have mothers who have passed away, and they write touching tributes to these women who meant so much to them. For a silly marketing thing, it took on a little more reverent feel after that. 

Today, while I was uploading the entries from overnight, I realized, I miss my kids so much right now. Yes, Rebekkah is still here with me, but I haven’t seen Caitlyn for several years, and it feels like DJ has been gone forever too. What will I do when Rebekkah is off doing whatever it is that physic majors do? It can’t be much longer before DJ has his own family to support, and Caitlyn is about to be deployed overseas…again. I get a little pang of sadness over losing my marriage, because I would have had Chef to comfort my empty arms, but that is gone now too.

I know it is a time to honor mothers, but in my case, it was the awesomeness of my children that made me the mother I was. If I’m a good mother, it was simply because I had the best of children.

I love you, kids. I miss you, Bug & Dj. Please come visit your old mom soon!

~Mom