Here are some questions and answers from Quora that made me chuckle a little. I’m finding it impossible to stay asleep, so if these aren’t as funny as I thought, please excuse me. I’m coming down with something, and the cough medicine is making me a little loopy.

All of the questions and most of the answers are by other people, and not me.

• Question: What is the best thing a stranger ever told you?
• Answer: Girl, you have more legs than a bucket of chicken.
  • Comment: Girl, you need to get out more often.

 

• Question: How do I politely tell my neighbor I do not what to lend him my car for his long trip this weekend?
• Answer: Say no and then shut your door and lock it…. Unless you already gave him a key to your house, too?

 

• Question: What is the best thing a 17 year old male can do?
• Answer: A cheerleader

 

• Question: How do old women, say 40+, feel when they remember their youth?
• Answer: Keep calling 40-ish women old, and you might not remember yours so fondly.

 

• Question: Why do we never hear about female politicians having affairs?
• Answer: Because they are busy pleasuring male politicians.
  • Comment: So your answer is, they are too busy?

• Question: What is the laziest thing you’ve ever done?
• Answer: Once my mom told me to vacuum my room. I went upstairs, closed my door, and YouTube-d a vacuum cleaner noise and laid down on my bed.
• Another Answer: I dreamed I was taking a nap.

 

• Question: How can I make life miserable for my ex?
• Answer: Take her back.

 

• Question: Why do American women flake out on dates? I’m not anti-American. I am an immigrant to this country, and these women I ask out will agree to go out with me, but never find the time to respond to my telephonic inquiries.
• Answer: That’s how the American woman tells you she’s not interested; it gives her some lead time to hide from you in case you’re a psycho stalker/rapist/serial killer.

Goodnight, my friends!

~ Bird