WTF is Going on in Oklahoma?

A couple of weeks ago, Mylife.com published their list of the most dangerous cities in America, stating their research showed Tulsa, Oklahoma to be the most dangerous city in the United States, and, for an extra bonus, the only other major city in Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, was ruled to be the second most dangerous.

I made a few jokes about the finding with my brother (who lives in saintly Colorado) and my father (who lives in rocking Austin, Texas). I blamed our helium production, our treatment of the Yield signs that our state offered to world back in 1936 as mere suggestions, and our guilt about the invention of aerosol cans that now destroy the ozone layer for the crazy crap people here are constantly doing.

Obviously, I don’t take that kind of stuff seriously, especially when it is gathered by an organization like Mylife.com aka Wink.com aka Reunion.com aka Classmates.com. Not one of those websites ever got my information right, and I have always been listed in the phone book. Why would I believe them about anything else?

Then, of course, we have a beheading not two weeks later, right here in the oft-forgotten state of Oklahoma, pretty much blowing everyone’s mind. This is a sentence no one ever expects to read:

Alton Nolen stabbed his coworker and cut her head off in the customer service center of Vaughn’s, a Moore Food Distribution Center.

No one here knows what to do with the constant assault of news media launching phrases and words we only ever hear when referring to the war in the Middle East or the attack on New York City during 911. Islam, beheading, local Muslims.…what the hell?! Moore has a population of about 6 people. I’m blown away they have even one “local Muslim”.

Our last big news story was how we botched a couple of executions, and the suffering of these convicted murders became a rally to arms against the death penalty in general. I have no opinion about this hot topic one way or another. Each side has some legitimate arguments, but I have my own crap to deal with these days. Safe bet is to just avoid murdering anyone if at all possible, like me.

I did get a twisted kick out of the headlines today, though.

I think there are crazy, mentally ill people everywhere, and I doubt Oklahoma has more than their fair share of them. But as a resident here for the last 11 years, the decline is pretty evident. Our middle class is disappearing, leaving a huge gap between the Haves and the Have-Nots. An ever-growing number of people who can’t make ends meet on the pathetic wages offered here have contributed to the need for some to turn to drugs and others to sell them those drugs. The drug business is booming.

Our police, for whatever politically correct reasons being spouted these days, are often just as guilty of breaking the law as those they arrest. A week never goes by we don’t hear about Tulsa’s Finest being arrested for something — murder, drunk driving, sex with an underage girl. It’s hard to feel safe when the people who are supposed to be keeping you safe, are victimizing people like all the rest of the criminal element.

I think it is a sad sign of the times that Oklahoma had its very own Islamic Beheading Situation in the customer service center of a grocery supply company located in the buckle of the Bible Belt.

It is even sadder that the state ghoulish-ly seized the opportunity to restart executions, striking while people were completely freaked out and distracted by this weirdo way to murder someone.

And most of all, I’m sad some Public Relations employee at BancFirst is thinking if it weren’t for bad luck, she’d have no luck at all.

~ Bird

Ps: For Holly, the moral of the story is:

First, this stuff can happen anywhere, even in Oklahoma.

Second, no matter how shocking and unexpected something is to us, the little people, the government is so detached from real people or real emotions, they will act in a completely expected weasle-like manner to get what they want, unapologetically using something this horrifying to sway public opinion by playing on their fear. This was a pretty douche-like move.

And lastly, that some self-congratulating bullshit news about a big company and a big governor giving food to the poor people only looks a million times more douche-like than it already is when it follows news about a Muslim beheading a woman at a customer service center in Oklahoma. And despite having no control over beheadings, government disconnect, or the lousy opinion people have about big businesses, specifically banks, some marketing specialist out there is going to be blamed for how badly this all went down for Bancfirst. You watch…