Too Poor To Go Big

hit like a bitchMy last two posts were sparked by a conversation the little Russian had with her parents. 

Are You Ready for Jihad, motherf***ers?

Meeting the Enemy at the Gate: Who’s Watching Your Back?

She mentioned yesterday that her parents had been questioning her about why Rebekkah had not been in church the last few weeks. No biggie on the surface, except they clothed the question in pseudo-spiritual wording. They told Russia (that’s what we’ll call my newest installment here at The Blue House) they were concerned for Rebekkah’s salvation. 

Rebekkah’s salvation...oh puhhhlllleeeeeeze. 

The reason is our truck has been broken down, not that we had been having some crisis of faith going on over here. Considering the wall of stony silence Russia had been getting from them lately, I feel like they had a lot of nerve trying to act like they give a rat’s ass about anyone else’s well-being but their own. 

Let’s be clear. I know my Father’s voice, and He knows mine, and the same goes for Rebekkah. Really, you’d have to betruth pretty blind to question our salvation. Even the outlaw motorcycle club members I hung out with knew I was all about God. Rebekkah and I live it; it pours out of every pore in our bodies, makes its way into almost every conversation, and not an hour goes by that we don’t reflect on Jesus in some way. No, I couldn’t care less about their actual question. 

What pissed me off is the obvious load of shit motivation that was behind all the holy concern. Actually, I’m really more than insulted they thought either of us would buy that snake oil crap!!

My opinion about anything you do in life is, go big. If you are going to be liar, tell whoppers, like Frank Abagnale Jr.  If you are going to steal, rob the White House’s lawn furniture. If you’re going to covet something, covet Buckingham palace. But whatever you decide to do, own it. Don’t give me some ridiculous story that paints you in some selfless, humble light. Real sincerety can’t be faked very well or for very long. 

This church hasn’t once picked up a phone to call Rebekkah, nor has any concerned letter arrived in the mail. No member has shown up knocking at the door to see if Rebekkah needs anything. No. That nonsense has nothing in the way of common sense actions to back it up. 

tumblr_m24ks4XJrB1qj73e2o1_500They were looking for some chinks in our armor to exploite in order to force Russia back into the streets, and straight back into their home, probably with the added bonus of forcing Rebekkah out of it as well. Since that is not exactly a godly motive, the fancy schmancy concern for her spiritual eternity was designed to hide their low-budget manipulation.

Russia has nothing to report because we’re about some fantastically boring folks around here these days.

Turns out, the truly spectacular sins cost money. And since I can’t go big with something fantastically horrible like heroine addiction, assassination attempts, or even a pathetic little DUI charge, why bother?  I’m too poor to go big. 😦

 Our poverty has kept us on the straight-and-narrow free road instead of the toll-booth pocked path through Vanity Fair!!

~ Bird 


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