To My Prodigal Daughter, B….

empire-total-war-games-game-hd-gamesTo My Beautiful Young Daughter, B:

I spoke to Rebekkah today, and the heaviness I feel in my heart for you and the children is beyond any words I could string together. I want so badly to sweep in and fix all of this for you, but sadly, I can’t.

I learned only too well the futility of trying to stop the train wreck that you have found your life speeding towards. I know no one can save you but yourself. That said, no one but God is going to be able to stop all that is about to go wrong. Oh, baby!!

Let me only share with you something I think you might not understand.

Addiction is a cancerous disease. It neither springs up overnight nor does it kill its victim so quickly, without time to suffer. Instead, it lies to its victim. It tells you that it is only a little relief, just a little bump to get over this bad time. It lets you walk away, determined to leave it behind, because it knows more than you do, just how easily it can have you back again. It gives you acceptable excuses to use first on yourself, and then to offer to others. It slips silently into a position of control in your life, and dislodging it is almost impossible without help.

As days turn into months, and then years go by, the lie is not so easily hidden, and the addict finds shadowthemselves in slavery to it. And even worse, its presence in our lives turns us against ourselves as well. Now willing slaves, we concede to allow things done to us that are purely evil, all because deep inside, we hate ourselves. We hate our weakness. We hate our behaviors. We hate those who use us as tools for things we can never utter to another person. We hate the innocent people in our lives we know we are hurting. We feel forsaken by anything good, and even worse, we accept that as what we deserve because of how awful we are.

Baby, I hope you know that we are always here for you when you finally decide you can’t take anymore. I have not bought into any of these lies you now believe. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and no one, including yourself, should treat you with any less dignity than the next person. You have lost your way, but you have people praying for you constantly, and while you may find it hard to believe, God has not forsaken you.

You pull yourself together and think logically long enough to do what you is best for the children. You’d be amazed at how much that one act of selflessness will bring you some hope. In the meantime, we will wait for our prodigal daughter to return to us, and we’ll all be so glad to have you back.





Note: B is one of my stepdaughters, but as you can see, she hold her own place in our hearts, blood or no. Please, please. Pray for my lost little girl. 


13 responses to “To My Prodigal Daughter, B….”

  1. Addiction is so very insidious – I do hope that one day your words can reach her, so difficult for her right now in the throes to accept – just be there when her call comes, or the knock on the door occurs. I know you are already.


  2. I know the pain you must be going through. Your daughter has no idea how blessed she is to having you pray for her, but God still works miracles. I will join you in prayer, that she will come to this realization. God bless you!


  3. Being the mother of a child with any kind of addiction is heartbreaking. So much potential down the drain, or in the arm. Be strong in the Lord and know that when your stepdaughter is ready, she will see the love of God and return to you.


  4. My heart is breaking…my own walk with my son has so much resonance with what you’ve written about Rebekkah. As parents, we give from the Heart and then we collapse until the sun warms us again. You will laugh. Joy has not forgotten you. Until then, Dan


    • I’m so sorry for your son! This child isn’t Rebekkah. This one is my stepdaughter, though I really don’t feel any differently about her than I do the ones I gave birth to.


  5. I don’t know if it is her battling an addiction or whether she is clinging on to the hope she can save someone else and destroying herself in the process or maybe a bit of both. it is a lesson you and I have both learnt the hard way Bird,
    you can never save anyone else,the addict has to hit rock bottom and accept they need help and reach out that hand to be helped back up or if you are holding on hoping the person you love will wake up and come to their senses you have to finally decide you love yourself more than they love you. That sounds harsh but the reality is the addict will always love their drug of choice more than the person they are hurting. The hardest part is when their are children involved and I guess then the answer is whichever way it is you have to love your children more than anything else in the world and do what is best for them no matter how hard that is for you.
    For B some words from someone who walked a similar path to your stepmom
    It is a long dark tunnel but you are so much stronger than you can ever believe, and you have people who will love you and support you and will understand. Life is too short and too precious to waste, the world is a vast and amazing place and you have to gift of children with whom to share it, you have so much more going for you just be brave enough to reach out and grasp it


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