My Best Self

50-tremendous-grunge-for-your-desktop-noupeI heard a question today that made me really think. The question was this:

When were you your best self?

I guess I’m thrown by the question because, on the surface, it would seem a rather easy question. When was I the happiest? When was I the most successful? The most content?

But that isn’t the question, is it?

I wasn’t my best self at the happiest moments of my life. I was a bit naive, idealistic, and self-deceptive at the times I was the most content. Maybe those qualities were what lent to my ability to feel that way. I certainly wasn’t my best self at the times I had the most money, or had achieve some success in my career.

The answer was rather startling.

I began to be my best self when my life crashed down around me and all the things I once held most valuable had been evaluated and discarded as counterfeit. Each ripping away of my blinders as I lost my marriage, my home, my friends, my things…Each step down this miserable road ripped away the crutches that I’d accepted as normal, and made me decide what kind of person was I going to be. Awake or Asleep? Blind or With Eyes To See? Broken or Whole? Weak or Strong?

I am my best self right now. My life is not dulled by misunderstandings, self-deception, codependent behaviors, or complacency, and my faith can only reside in the Lord, and not in myself. Each day that I can find a way to control my reactions to a callous, blind world, I grow a little wiser. Every time I can laugh instead of cry, be calm instead of angry, I realize how far I’ve come since I first stepped into the life I’m in these days.

I am my best self right now, today; but I hope to become better.

I hope my best self is always in my future, and never in my past.

~ Bird

17 responses to “My Best Self”

  1. Ya, you don’t really know who you are or who you want to be until everything that you thought was life is no longer there.


  2. This isn’t an easy question.. And most people wouldn’t answer it it honestly.
    When were we are best selves causes us to take a real look at ourselves and evaluate whether it is what we put on show outside that matters or what we know is happening inside (I hope that makes sense). Thank you for showing us your truth in every post.
    I love this post.. I really do..
    Apple x


  3. Very insightful, very well said. When things were going great, I felt that my faith was strong. NMow I think not so much. And now, when I feel my faith is weak and life is harder, I sometimes think it’s actually stronger than when I merely FELT strong. Thanks for a great message!


  4. I have to say… You truly are an angle, your words, your experience, I’ve been reading this blog, and these words are here for me to see at the right times, God sends people into your life, words of hope and light, when things are the darkest, God makes ways, beyond what we can see with our physical eyes. Thank you for your blog.


  5. I totally get you. I find that in my worst times i surprise myself. I am full of doubt and self loathing but i always deal with each problem as if i am on auto pilot. When the bad times have passed and i look back i see that i actually took care of business. Crazy really but yes


  6. Bird, I, too, hope my best self is in the future. And aren’t we so lucky that God’s grace continuous! He never expects us to be perfect, and is never, ever finished with us! Good thing, too, because I could never do this on my own!


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