Self-Accepting Your Self-Awareness Without Being Self-Absorbed

acceptI’ve been thinking about the importance of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Prompted by a conversation I was following on the internet, the  original question was how does one go about accepting themselves the way they are, so they can stop worrying about all the stuff they wish were different about themselves. 

I do not believe anyone is so flawless they should just sit back and “self-acceptance” themselves until they die. Self-awareness is far more valuable in my opinion. 

I would love to know what the general consensus is out there…plus, I tend to make a point of finding all the polls on WordPress. I love quick polls asking me what I think. 

Polls = Mad Fun

For the polls, I thought I would explain briefly the differences for those of you who have been too busy to catch the most recent buzz words. 🙂


  • Self-Awareness: Self-awareness is a psychological state in which people are aware of their traits, feelings and behaviour. Alternately, it can be defined as the realization of oneself as an individual entity.”\(Crisp & Turner, 2010)
  • Self-Awareness is “..a psychological state in which one takes oneself as an object of attention.”(Franzoi, 1996)


  • Wikipedia describes self-acceptance as follows:

Self-acceptance is defined as acceptance of self in spite of deficiencies.

enlightenmentAlthough this term has been often understood in a common sense way, researchers have defined it formally in terms of positive and negative self-concepts. According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance refers to an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with himself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Self-acceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses. It results in an individual’s feeling about himself that he is of “unique worth”.

In clinical psychology and positive psychology, self-acceptance is considered the prerequisite for change to occur. It can be achieved by stopping criticizing and solving the defects of one’s self, and then accepting them to be existing within one’s self. That is, tolerating oneself to be imperfect in some parts.

Counseling and therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and mindfulness-acceptance based approaches (see


I have put some polls below. Please vote, and write any thoughts you have on this subject. If you specifically do not want me to quote you in an article, just say so in the comments. Otherwise, I hope to get some interesting perspectives. 


Thanks, you guys!!!




8 responses to “Self-Accepting Your Self-Awareness Without Being Self-Absorbed”

  1. I did a one-year part-time counselling course as an introduction to the field. Had to do a fair bit of reading for it. The first thing we ended up doing was examining ourselves before forming small groups to counsel each other.

    It was made clear to us that self-awareness is VITAL before anyone can begin to help others with their problems. Kind of finding the plank in your own eye, as Jesus said. That journey was cathartic and beneficial.


    • I wish I’d taken something like that. Sometimes I flip through Bekkie’s class catalogue and consider maybe taking a class like that.

      I had to intentionally set out to fix my life. I was spiralling down the toilet, and with three little babies, I knew something was going to have to change. I sat down and wrote out all the things about myself I liked, (a short list) and all the things I hated (very, very long list). It was really eye-opening what my real issues were as opposed to what I’d assumed they had always been. I would encourage everyone to get to know themselves in an honest, productive way.


      • I would recommend counselling to anyone. A good counsellor is trained to not prompt anything or lead but to just ask the right questions. The answers to those questions, if you’re honest, will reveal things you never might find out yourself. For instance, a young girl in our group of three (we took turns as client, counsellor, observer) believed she had left university after a boyfriend slapped her and she dumped him (of course) but felt awkward any time they were with friends (even though she told nobody).

        In asking about her childhood, we discovered something that was dominant throughout her life – comparison to her YOUNGER sister, which was unusual. THAT was why she left: she was never academic but felt she had to prove herself to her parents. She never really wanted to go to university in the first place. She resolved to tell her parents that she was NOT her all singing and dancing sibling, she was herself, and she was mightily pleased to discover this.

        Others can help us see things we cannot see from within.


        • I didn’t have the benefit of a different perspective when I first set out to do this, but I managed to surprise myself. On the surface, people, even myself, assume that my life got derailed by being molested, but it didn’t.And even more surprising, I realized that the one main common denominator every huge dilemma I had caused for myself was boredom. Plain and simple, I will set fire to my own life if I don’t keep myself busy, thus recreating the environment of crisis after crisis I grew up in. Frankly, it was an awesome, humiliating, cleansing experience. I’m not nearly as broken and lost as most survivors of this kind of child abuse are. I give God all the credit, but He did point me in the direction that helped me take my life back.


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