Today has been particularly hard. Once again, I’m looking for home. I dropped my phone in water, and now it is ruined. It’s hot. I feel physically wiped out; mentally, I’m exhausted. Chef is sad; that makes me sad, too. It goes on and on. It was just a really hard day.
As it rolled on though, I began to reflect on Egypt, specifically about the Israelites when they were led out of Egypt by Moses, and all of the wonders they experienced at God’s hand. The parting of the Red Sea. A pillar of clouds leading the way by day, a pillar of fire leading by night. They had Heavenly GPS! Manna fell from heaven; meat was provided at their request. So many wonders, they beheld. And what did they do? They complained.
I have often heard the disdain in voices speaking about the different people in the Bible and their obviously poor choices. The story above is one of the least empathized incident, drawing the present occupants of earth’s disgust because it just seems too ridiculous to us that people would complain after SO MANY miracles happening, and all for their benefit. Yet, Americans above all others are guilty of this exact same shallow memories as the Israelites were way back then.
Once upon a time, Chef had us all covered by insurance, and it was no big thing to go get glasses replaced. I no longer have this luxury, and I really miss it. We easily paid our bills, and had money left over for entertainment. I can’t even remember what that feels like anymore!
There are so many things I miss about a marriage, a dual income, and that doesn’t even begin to count the many emotional blessings that come with having a partner. Time is wonderful about easing the pain of life, but by slowly smoothing the angry edges of life, it also seems to exaggerate the happier things, and maybe that is what is so hard to deal with when you’re breaking up.
Glasses and phones and money for movies are nice things, but they aren’t life-sustaining. ( Well, in my case, the glasses are pretty important, especially if I’m driving.) They are things that I took for granted before, and I have to work extra hard to have them now. But it doesn’t benefit me at all to forget the bad, and whine about what good is lost to me now. Over all, the balance is there, and when I look at the entire episode of Chef’s Midlife Crisis, I can see the pillars of clouds and the pillars of fire in my journey. I can see the manna He reigns down on me daily, and appreciate the water He gives me in this desert. And I have hope for my future; it won’t all be desert.
So, I won’t complain. I see how easy it must have been for the Israelites to fall into this trap, having to physically and emotionally disengage from the only kind of life they’d ever known. We should cut them some slack.
When I need something, God is faithful to give it, and that will keep me from grumbling about what I had.
I’m happy to have left Egypt, and I’m looking forward to the Land of Milk and Honey.