Ok. So I cancelled on my date. Let me explain why.
Since I left Chef, I’ve had a few guys interested in me. On the one hand, it is rather refreshing after being cheated on to know that I
don’t actually have to spend the rest of my life alone if I don’t want to. But, on the other hand, I’m not feeling like I can trust the male gender at the moment, or myself for that matter, so I get in these situations that seem like I can handle them, and then bail right at the last-minute. Like tonight.
I was talked into using Match.com at first, but let’s just say there is one word I use to describe the guys I met from there — Liars. I ran into some disturbing trends. For instance,
a) Don’t post pictures of yourself that are 20 years old. Seriously? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?
b) Who is the guy you posted pictures of? Your brother? Why? Any chance I could meet him?
c) You’re married? Did you actually read my profile, or did you just look at the picture?
d) You said you owned a ranch. I don’t think working at the stockyards counts. Hey, at least you have a job. That’s an improvement from the last three guys.
Yep. I discontinued that line of dating. Then, I got set up on some blind dates. I’m kind of offended by what my friends think I’d be attracted to. Seriously. And then there was the client’s brother that I met this week. He is a nice man, reasonably attractive, and I don’t want to date him. But he’s had such a run of bad luck lately, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no. So I said yes. Then I cancelled at the last-minute. I hate to do that, but I tried to tell him I wasn’t ready to date!
I know. I suck.
— Bird
If your mind is not into the date for whatever reason, you are doing the guy a favor by backing out. From a guy’s perspective, I can’t think of anything worse than sitting across the table with a girl who clearly has no interest in the date. Sooner or later, you’ll find the person. Just don’t rush it.
Good luck,
Tim
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Thanks, Tim. I felt horrible about it, but it seems wrong to encourage someone when I’m clearly not there yet.
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no you do not suck, u r following your instincts
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lol…Poor guys. I’m a disaster waiting to happen right now.
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I wish I could convince you of your strength. I draw from you at times because you are stronger than me on days. You are doing so well, all through the pain you are still riding high on top
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Terry, that is sweet! I don’t feel very strong. I feel like I was a hot mess through most of this. I’m just healing up with time, like anyone would. That’s all! And you have hidden strengths that I can’t match, too. Don’t sell yourself short!
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Thanks Bird. There are days I feel very weak, but thank you for seeing someone different
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You’ve got to trust your ‘gut’ feelings…Something ‘right’ will come along..Diane
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I believe you are right. Besides, I’m a crappy date if I don’t want to be there. It’s too soon.
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great advice!
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Sounds like you need a live webcam.
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Or they do…
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There is no law that says you have to rush into dating if you don’t want to. Also, there are varying degrees of dating. Maybe until you are more comfortable again and find a guy you feel comfortable being alone with, maybe you could go out in a group setting with friends. I don’t know. Just a thought. Anyway, I got a kick out of your post. Thanks for another pleasant chuckle. I really needed it, as I’m sure a lot of people with kids and grand kids do right now.
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You are wise. When you are ready you will date again. It is amazing that you have consciously made the decision to not compromise. You deserve the best!
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Thank you!
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You are such a mess…lol,and you know i say that with love!!! There is no reason to date if you are not ready, doing so is unfair to whatever guy who is lucky enough to take you out cuz he wont be able to help but to fall in love with your great smile and witty charm and you will end up breaking his heart!!
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LOL!! I love you, too, Marissa! You are always my biggest fan!
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Hi there, just wanted to say, I liked this blog post.
It was helpful. Keep on posting!
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Bird you don’t suck! At all! Sometimes our friends think we should be moving at what they think is a reasonable pace. They mean well but they aren’t you. You will know when it’s time. Trust God! He’ll let you know when it’s time. 🙂
Blessings,
Dana
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