A Little Tiny Bit Lonely


A few days ago, I posted on Facebook that the next time I started dating, I wanted to meet a guy who puts his worst foot forward, so I’ll know what I’ll be dealing with later. It was a just a little joke, but the next day, I was sitting in the hallway outside of my room talking to Chef on the phone, while a guy was working on something in the wall, like an electrician or something. Chef was very upset about something that had happened that morning, and I was mainly just listening.

I noticed the guy kept kind of looking over at me, and I figured he was thinking my conversation was humorous. Actually, I was finding the call funny because I get this same phone call almost every morning, and I was just shaking me head and laughing a little bit and trying to get Chef to calm down. When I hung up, the guy makes a comment like, “Ex?” and I said yes.

We stood in the hall making some small talk, and then I decided to end the conversation, as it was turning into a “pick up” conversation. I excused myself, and as I was walking away, he says to me, “Watch out, darlin’. I’m bad news.” LOL!!

By the end of next week, my divorce papers should be filed, and I’m thinking that the peaceful truce between Chef and I might blow up again, on his part. But I do have to tell ya’ll, I’m kind of lonely. All my friends are married, and I hate being a third wheel, charity case when I go out with them. This isn’t a huge, heartbreaking thing for me. I’m not falling apart and sad about it, only hoping that maybe someday God will have someone for me…Preferably before I qualify for Social Security.

Have a great day!!

— Bird




11 responses to “A Little Tiny Bit Lonely”

  1. There is no one like that here for me. Even the best one ever pouted out. The Lord has me choosing celibacy. Why would I want to do things for another man that will never be enough, just saying? I have thought about it, having that part of just someone holding me without the rest as you. Then I think it would only get in the way of serving him and he is holding me. God Bless!


    • I think God only chooses the really strong to struggle with this life alone. And you must be one of them. I, on the other hand, have always loved being married, even to dysfunctional men, and I really think that since Chef broke the vows in the ways that the bible says I’m allowed a divorce without reprisal, I’ll eventually be married again one day. But, God has my future planned for me, and so who knows? Maybe I’ll like being alone better, but right now, I doubt it. I like the intimacy of marriage when you can trust your partner. We’ll see!


  2. Am thinking you need to smile my lot have just given me the best present so far, they have all gone out and left me for an hours total peace and quiet, so I guess we always want what we havent got lol wish you were nearer have chocolate birthday cake for later which you would be more than welcome to come share, you need to look at being single as freedom, you have the freedom to travel, explore new places and ideas, meet a thousand new people (not all of them romantically lol), flirt a little, have fun, go out to eat in places chef would never have gone, infact miss bird I have a challenge for you its my birthday today I just published a new page 50 things to do before 50 my challenge for you is to do the same starting from the day the divorce is final to a significant birthday of your choice make a list of dreams and aspirations be it places to see or things to do. I know how much you love a challenge and have no doubt you will rise to it admirably


  3. I get it Bird. Mornings and evenings are the hardest for me. I like to think that God has another partner for me. But you know? Many of our other single friends, (they’re out there) aren’t as fortunate. We have awesome kids, great friends and a God who loves us. Still.

    Much love,



  4. Catherine..You are such a warm, compassionate and let’s not leave out intelligent woman. You draw people to you by these qualities and more so I don’t believe for a moment that God will not give you the desire of your heart …someone to share your life with …someone who has many of the qualities that you have…Lets not leave out..a “Christian” man.to share your faith with also….my prayers for you will include this ..Diane


  5. this is exactly where I am now. I am lonely. I want companionship. I hate dealing with Al and the house and everything alone. I find comfort through all of you on here, but when I turn away from the computer, I am alone again. I keep praying God will show me someone, but so far nothing. I could have a man, if I allow my morals to be lowered, but I refuse. I want a man who is walking the same path that I am, and he is headed down the road to heaven also. This has been hard for me to find, or even to be noticed


  6. Dear Catherine,

    I too would like to start dating again. Since my divorce 12 years ago it seems like I have been living in the desert. But I ahve been growing into my true self and constanly ask God to heal me and help me. I’m guessing the man he has waiting must be something and I am not ready yet to meet him. In the meantime I found about a country western dance club near by to me . I love C&W, most of the songs I write seem to be C & W. I haven’t gone yet but I do love to dance. So, if you are feeling lonely go cuddle with the doggies and then put on your dancing shoes or boots in my case and just go out and have fun. BTW, it’s okay to be the third wheel with married friends–maybe they know a nice guy and can make it a foursome? So, in the meant time work on you. When I got my divorce papers I was devasted I felt like such a failure and then I made a list of goals. This is what I accomplished off of my list, I returned to U.C.L.A. and completed my B.A–I swtiched from theatre to Spanish Lit (ha -thinking it would be easy–), I wrote and produced a play, I wrote and produced a short film, since that list I also returned to grad school and got my M.A. in Religious Studies. And now I am back at school learning music. I am not tootong my own horn just trying to show you what you can do when you are single with lots of time on your hands. So, my dear get out a piece of paper and start making a list of all the things you have wanted to do and go for it!!!!!!

    love you



    • lol..maybe I’ll do the C&W dancing..I’m suck a clutz, but I’ve always wanted to line dance..lol. You are right! And I’m ready to get on with life.


      • why don’t you make a bucket list and write a post about it. Include everything liek goals and fun things you have always wanted to do. On mine is visiting London and Paris, Euro Disney, Niagra Falls, The Grand Canyon and doing animal rescue–thyat’s just some of it–there is more. Thank you writing all of this to you is inspiring me to get off my butt and work on checking things off of my list.




  7. Here’s what I have learned my friend and soul sister about loneliness…
    If you fall in love with your life and all the creative genius God has placed inside of you then you put all that PASSION outwards…in service – men become very very replaceable lol. A Course In Miracles (you’d like it) says “there are no special relationships” because God made us all for each other. The day you find yourself so damned happy with YOURSELF that you’re not looking to fill space with a guy…well that is of course when someone will walk in (the right person)…and shatter your world (in a good way :))
    A good relationship does not involve two emotional cripples,.,,it is not “you complete me” (oh barf)… it is two equal whole complete people who have their feet on the ground.
    Put all that love inside you TO YOU…
    be the best you can be FOR YOURSELF (and yes I AM saying be selfish). I swear it works…the whole world benefits and…in my case, I have such a full beautiful life…wow. One day I’ll tell you the whole story 🙂 but for now…I am saying..BE SELFISH. LOVE YOU FIRST.

    🙂 as for sex…well….I have no clue what to say to you there lolo. I’ll get that figured out and get back to you haha!!

    Peace out chicka
    BY the way…I haevnt been writing because we are doing my album finally! I am so excited. As soon as its done I’ll send you a copy.
    Peace xo


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