I want to take a moment to clarify some things about this situation in my family. I’ve heard the phrase “You don’t know the whole story” bandied about a lot lately from people outside of our family. This is what I do know:
1) My father has a drug addiction. For my entire teen life until present, I’ve struggled with this same problem. During that time, he was my biggest critic, and I respected his opinion over most other people’s because I looked up to my dad.
2) My dad is a hypocrite.
3) Growing up, he badgered us with the phrase “What are the two things I hate most?” and the answer was “Liars and Thieves”. Now, I find that my father is both.
4) I still respect the advice he gave me growing up, but no longer respect the adviser.
5) He told me one drop in a pool of water causes ripples through the whole body. He seems to have forgotten that, or no longer cares.
a) My mom lost her best friend and husband. She didn’t deserve that.
b) Rebekkah got closer to God and learned that sacrifices had to be made.
c) Caitlyn fell in love and because she was so far away, was spared most of the emotional trauma. Thank God. One more person in this broken mess would have been devastating.
d) I am grieving the loss of my entire family as I knew it. Collectively, we’ve all lost our home, our things, our stability, our peace, our security, and our dogs lost their yard. So, it was true — one drop of water rippled through the whole body.
e) We’ve lost friends, or they have been made to choose between us. This has been painful for everyone involved.
6) The Bible says, ” Every plant that my Heavenly Father has not planted will be rooted up; Let them alone. They are the blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into a ditch.” Matt 15: 13-14 He’s proclaimed to be a Christian, and I’ve now watched him openly denounce the Lord. And I can’t be any part of that.
7) I love my dad. I always have, no matter the circumstance; but, the Lord has shown me I must distance myself from him and any who are opposed to my Lord, and surround myself with like-minded people in Christ.
8) The Bible says, “No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You can not serve God and mammon.” Matt 6:24 We’ve chosen different masters.
So, here is the whole story in a nutshell: this is what happens when someone stops serving the Lord, and instead serves only himself.
— DJ
11 responses to “The Man in the Iron Cage — DJ”
Excellent writing, insight, and emotion. I’m sorry for your loss. You chose well…
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thank you in my own way i think i am still trying to reach him. He’s my dad and i do love him but i need to know when to let go.
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i’m sorry DJ 😦 but there is some good coming from all this. at least you know that.
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I really like your point #7. We do sometimes have to distance ourselves from those we love in order to guard our own hearts for the Lord. We can continue to love but cannot condone what they do against God’s love and His principles. Just want you to know I am praying for each member of your family. God will bring good out of this though it may seem impossible right now. God bless you, your sisters and your Mom.
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that is the way it is with me and my half sister. she lives in the dark world, and of course you know i try to live in the light. i love her as my sister, but never see her. it hurts, i pray for her, but i have to keep myself safe from that kind of danger. you are doing good, and i see your strength. even when you have sad moments, u do climb back up!!!
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With prayers hopefully your father will change his ways and turn toward God. Sorry you have to go through this tough situation.
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What a concise and wise conclusion you have come to…Diane
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Well written and paints the picture well. You have made wise choices. Stay focused on Jesus and scripture and you will be fine. Romans 8:24
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On all 1 – 8 — AMEN!
So sorry for you that you must make these choices, but wisdom is known by its children . . .
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Beautiful writing, very mature and insightful.
ivonne
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To the last line in this blog: Well said….. Very well said. I have suffered the same pains from my own husband, and even with being a seminary student I could not have summed it up better myself. What I can say to you, is that the realization of everything you have come to figure out is where the healing begins. You cannot heal unless you can understand the situation, and you seem to have a good understanding and good head on your shoulders. Now that you know the source of the problem (Satan!), and understand the extent of the spiritual battle your father is suffering, you can start to emotionally accept and pray for healing of your own heart. This goes for all of your family!
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