Torture Sessions Shouldn’t Have Soundtracks

“Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart.” Proverbs 25:20

How MTV first started out…

Long before Facebook or MySpace was in existence, I learned that there were things I needed to avoid when I felt like I was on the brink of an overwhelming sadness or depression. And the number one thing to avoid for me was sad music. Not easy to do in this day and age, with radio, tv, and canned music floating through every store, restaurant, elevator, and office building, and even piped right into your own cell phone. Note to self: Only happy ring-tones from now on!!

Music is rather miraculous when you think about it. I’ve never met someone who simply just hated music. Yes, there was the occasional human being that proclaimed indifference, but they are rare in my estimation. Instead, I’ve not met many people who didn’t flirt with the dream of being a big music icon when they grew up. American Idol has raked in a massive amount of money based on just that thirst for music by the average human soul. Who hasn’t danced around their bedroom singing into a hair brush to their favorite pop song? And while most of us who can’t carry a tune in a bag would never venture to an Idol tryout, that doesn’t seem to dissuade everyone who is musically handicapped. Music seems able to minister to any soul, and we almost all long to be ministered to.

I like the scripture above, especially since it was written centuries before the first radio or MTV station bombarded the world with the interpretations of life through the viewpoint of so many different people with so varying opinions about anything and everything. The lack of technology from Biblical times makes me envision a sad woman sitting at her dining room table with some guy playing a harp and singing a bawdy bar song in the corner. Did they have dive bars back then, do you think?  🙂

Yesterday, I put in a disk I’d burned a while back, and it seemed like every song on it was about love, or the brokenness of when it was over. It sported some real gems like, among others,  Gordon Lightfoot‘s “If You Could Read My Mind“, Seether’s “Careless Whisper“, Annie Lennox‘s “Don’t Let It Bring You Down”, and my particular favorite for torturing a sad soul, Garth Brook’s “The Dance”. What the h***?! It was like I created a soundtrack to go with my torture sessions!

Instructions: Seat Bird here and blare “The Dance” and “Baby’s Gotten Good At Good-bye” over and over again until her eyeballs pop out.

The upside of the moment was that I didn’t dissolve into a puddle of tears, or start feeling the pulsating pain in my stomach all over again. Instead, I pretended to be in a U2 music video, and I screeched the words to every single song at the top of my lungs as I drove across town. It was rather therapeutic, even if people did give me wide berth. I imagine I did look somewhat like a drunk driver.  🙂

Or in my case, a music video….

Even happier for me, the music didn’t feel like it was personally mocking me. I still have my hopes that all will be well with The Other Half someday, and that these latest lessons have just become another chapter in a rather long book that is my life. Given that context,  the soundtrack didn’t serve to  freak me out much. Today, though, I’m going to record some Toby Keith‘s “Whiskey Girl” and Gorillaz’ “Clint Eastwood”, and maybe even Rick James‘ “Super Freak“, just so I can balance out the mood when I’m travelling to and from work. 🙂


Car Sing-A-Longs work better than psychiatrists….


— Bird




27 responses to “Torture Sessions Shouldn’t Have Soundtracks”

  1. Music CAN soothe the soul or irritate it wildly….Boy, when I was down it seemed like every song made me cry…but then again maybe I needed to cry. I’m glad you don’t feel like this time is necessarily the last chapter in your story because God can definitely put broken pieces back together..I know this first hand and the result can be that the marriage is even stronger……Diane


    • That’s what I’m counting on, Diane. It really isn’t in my nature to give up, even when hope has clearly died and is now filling up my life with the stink of decomposition. But, while I’m busy building up things in my life that I can focus on besides just my marriage, I still cling to the hope that he’ll be well and happy again one day. I can’t help it. 🙂


    • I haven’t forgotten..I took a break from my website I’m designing for work to write and now I’m back at it. I plan to scour the comments and get them all this evening!


  2. Bird,

    I too have to avoid sad songs when I am down…which I have been lately. I will throw the “grandest” pity parties where I am both the host and the guest of honor. And I too listen to, “The Dance” when I am feeling low. Or how about, “Better as a Memory Than as Your Man”? I could go on and on and on. What we should be playing, my love is “I Will Survive” and Beyonce’s classic, “Irreplaceable”. Geez! I hope you’re ok, darling.



  3. Not that I am suggesting that you cry, but many times it has a cleansing effect on the mind, body and soul…. so long as you don’t try to drown in the tears, it may do you some good. 🙂


  4. i have been in a mood with my music lately. been listening to the oldies, which takes me back to my seventh grade and up. sort of makes me sad to realize i am getting old as they call it the oldies, but it is also nice because i know all of the songs.
    how are you liking your job so far?


  5. I think we all do it. From the first teenage heart break onwards the minute we are hurt we find the songs that will maximise our suffering and then hit repeat until we turn ourselves into gibbering wrecks. With modern technology it is even worst we can now create whole playlists for every mood but in a strange way I think sometimes it helps move past it quicker because it does ensure you face your feelings and get them out.


    • That’s a good way to look at it. I can pop in “What I’d Say” and if I cry, it’s too soon. If I don’t, I’m on the mend. 🙂 I’d say I’m on the mend. No tears for a couple of days.


  6. I know what you mean about listening to love songs during a broken heart. I found that listening to classical music and other music without lyrics helps when I go through those times. I love music as well. I even use it to get me in a particular frame of mind when I’m writing my novels.


  7. Is it bad that I have a playlist on my iPod for every mood that I feel like being in? Even “the mood”. It’s hard to be in a bad mood while Three Dog Night is belting out JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG!!!! or even LMFAO “I’m Sexy and I Know It,”

    I have a playlist for everything. I’m weird.


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