Changing What You Hope For…

Redemption (Photo credit: drp)

One of my favorite movies is The Shawshank Redemption. The whole movie is about hope, and frankly, lately, I’ve been at war with hope. It seems to me that hoping in someone else is not a good bet. And I’m not much of a gambler. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop hoping that Chef would snap out of this nonsense.

While the war isn’t over, there is a reprieve right now, and I’m thankful about that. And while I’m enjoying it, I’m working really hard to not hope this is a permanent change. Instead, I’m hoping to make it through the day without either of us messing up the terms of the truce.

It has been said that a human being can’t live without something to hope for. Once hope is gone, so is the will to live, and suicide isn’t what kills the person. It is the lack of a reason to go on. I, of course, am nowhere near being hopeless. I have a lot of hope in my future. What I’ve had to do lately is to take my eyes off of the wrong things to hope for.

First God dealt with my inability to trust, and now I’m having to focus on what to hope for. You know what I’m hoping for now? I’m hoping that the next few hours are as good as the first few were today. And I trust the Lord that they will be. 🙂

We’re taking a motorcycle ride to get out of the house today. I’ll be talking to you guys later….

— Bird

27 responses to “Changing What You Hope For…”

    • I agree with you lbkennett! I found out a long time ago that everyone is our life will at some point let us down. But as David said in Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” I am still praying for you and Chef as a couple Bird!


      • Thank you, Alwayzhis! I’ve poured out my heart to the Lord, and I know He has heard me. Now, I’m trying to learn to completely trust Him with these circumstances. This is one really hard lesson, but like all the others, I intend to learn it, and hopefully learn it quickly and well. 🙂 I have my down days, but I’m going to make through this. I have hundreds of people praying to Jesus for me!! How can satan win against that???!


        • God is already working in you honey. Trust is not an easy thing to do especially if you’ve had a childhood without a ‘dad’. I know, just read your birthday post…sounds a lot like mine. All I know is that even when you feel unable to trust Him, ask Him to help you trust! He will–He does! I know!
          🙂 Stephanie


  1. I’m hoping and praying and I know you are too, but just to remind you that with others praying ‘where two or three are gathered in my name there I will be also”….and we are gathered ‘in spirit’ together…hang in there…..Diane


    • I hold on to that thought every day. I feel like this is one battle that I’m not really having to fight alone, and it really does help me. I appreciate every kind word and every single prayer. Thank you all!!


  2. For a bit of unsolicited advice, offer to join him in his new venture (second childhood) it could be good for both of you.

    If I ever have one, I would like Ann to join me.



    • I kind of joined him today, and it was different, but peaceful. Good advice. I guess it doesn’t hurt anything to not be so orderly and planned. I hate to feel like I’m always freaking out, and today, I just went with the flow.

      I’m thinking I might be ever so slightly OCD’ed in the mind.I really need to relax…. 🙂

      Thanks for the advice, Ed. I’m pretty sure you are right.



    • Thanks! I did enjoy my ride. We just got in, and other than the deer freaking me out a bit, the ride was absolutely perfect! I appreciate the prayers….Please keep them coming! I think they are making a difference… 🙂


  3. Last year john and I were in DEEP trouble…big big bad trouble. We went to a marriage counsellor for two sessions. Each time, we would come home in worse shape. In therapy we would actually end up making things up to fit her theories, but I’m afraid no “traditional” scenaruios fit our life…so it made it all worse.
    We decided to take a ride on the bike one night, sunset, ice cream. It was such a happy thing for us, we made it a traditition, going after dinner and talking…or not talking. The nice thing about being on the back ios you can do NOTHING…only sit there, together, in relative silence. THIS is a good idea. We all talk too much…(I like the saying “only speak if you can improve on the silence” lol)…we would stop, talk, ride ride some more.
    We ended up naming his bike “Susan” after our therapist. 🙂 and today we still go for some “susan time” when things get rough.
    Hope you had a happy ride 🙂



    • We do pretty much the same thing. You’re right…we all talk too much!! We ALWAYS feel better after a ride. Thanks for sharing…I do appreciate it. We are moving out of this hard time, I think. I’m hoping, anyways!


  4. You are continually in my prayers. Bird, when we try to live and love in our own strength, we often and almost inevitably come up short. We do much better when we love people through Christ. Let Christ Jesus love chef through you his way. It will be the best way. Wayne.


  5. We can’t put our hope in other people, because we can’t control their actions, and we can’t put our hope in things because they will break down, rust and erode. However, we can keep our eyes on the Lord, and on the treasures of Heaven that one day we will enjoy.


        • Oh, Lord I hope not!! Once is enough for me…Either the Lord will miraculously restore this marriage down the road or I’m finished being in love. 🙂 I’ll be a crazy cat lady instead!!


          • LOL! I’m praying that your husband gets a real relationship wisth Christ that will be so life changing that he will see his love for you in a new light and blossoming with fresh love, the kind that you find with a soul mate. In that day he will be your husband for life, spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. That day you will know that there will be no more doubts and you can buy those rockers for the front porch that you two will share for the rest of your lives. I believe from what you said that God may be at work already on him. Even though my husband can be such a “man” sometimes…lol…I know in my heart we will be in our rockers on that front porch until the Lord calls us home…that is if we can get to them…lol.


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