A Sad Day

I’ve thought about it, and I think honesty is just always the best policy.

Over the last week, I’ve had to set boundaries about what I can and can’t take around me. And because of this, Chef has to leave our home. I still love him very much, but the pain of what is going on is too much for me to deal with on a daily basis, and so I’m having to liquidate the things in my home so that I can move back to Texas and start again. I don’t own much, so it shouldn’t take long.

Please don’t think less of Chef or me. In the end, maybe God has a solution in mind, and maybe this is just a part of it. But lately, we don’t bring out the best in each other…only the worst. And while true love actually still exists, it really isn’t enough. Love is about putting someone else’s needs above your wants, and lately priorities have just gotten mixed up.

Please pray for me, and for Chef, and for my poor children.

Thank you.

— Bird

76 responses to “A Sad Day”

  1. Oh, Bird. I had a feeling, but I had hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t come to this. I am so sad, but also very proud of you. You are one of the most amazing women I know and you will be ok. I am here if you need me. Just send out a smoke signal, a telegram, and email – or you can call me if you like. I love you.


  2. I am praying this time will bring healing and reconciliation so that y’all can be together in a healthy way in the future. I am SOOOOOO sorry for all the pain you are going through! I am happy today for you anytime about anything. MUCH LOVE!!!!!


  3. I have been through something similar (like you say, everyone has a story) and I hope that the knowledge that there are people out there who love you and pray for you helps you through this tough time. I would like to add that in addition to saying a prayer for mercy and strength for your family, I will also add an additional piece of chocolate to my daily allowance on your behalf 🙂 I firmly believe that after God, chocolate is a necessity and it helps everything in its own way. Keep writing, praying and sharing and the good will come back to you 10 fold.

    Yours in Blogging ~ Jessica Martinez


  4. Baby bird, you’re the best. Like you once told me, I’m nobody’s judge. I have no idea what’s coming next, can’t give you any pithy advice. Just that Jesus loves the messiness that’s you and Chef, and has already forgiven you both.
    I love you,


  5. I’m sorry Cathy (Bird), I don’t know what part of Texas your coming to but if it’s in the valley I’ll be here for you in person. Only God knows what He has in store for you so let’s trust and believe He’s going to compassionately get you and your family through this. Love from your childhood friend, Melissa


    • Thank you, Melissa. I don’t know right now what to do. My dad lives in Austin, but he’s really sick, and I have no job. I plan to go there Monday, and hopefully, find a job and rebuild my life.


  6. Unfortunately, things have unraveled and I have no advice or words of encouragement for you. You have to work this out for yourself, and I am sorry that the road has come to this, but such is life. You are strong, and I have faith in you, that in the end, you will come out of it alright.



      • If you need a plan, we can rob a bank together. That will take care of the money problem as well. And if we should fail – given that our flamingo van probably isn’t the best get away car (you know, recognition and minor flaws like that), we will have room and board for a few years ahead. I hear one can take classes in jail.


  7. Oh Bird, I am so sorry to hear your news. I have you and the family in my prayers. I know you are hurting and I hurt for you. You are my friend and I do love you. Let me know if I can help.

    Walk daily with God at your side!

    Your friend,



  8. im sorry to hear that you are splitting up. wow, just wow… Satan is working overtime just when you both need each other the most. please prayerfully reconsider staying together and fighting for ‘what God put together’?
    don’t know the whole situation, but brandy and i are praying.


  9. My heart and lots of prayer go out to you. It will be difficult. I won’t say I know how you feel because each separation is its own basket of problems. Just know I’m here for you. Sandy


  10. Oooh Bird! I’m so sorry. I had hoped that you guys could work this out some other way. Wish I could help ease the pain or that I could do something to help at all. I’lll pray extra hard for all of you tonight. I’m here if you need me.


  11. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your faith; that’s a big part of what gets you through times like this.

    On a lighter note, I must say that anytime I see that someone has written, “Oh, Bird” it makes me think of Mr. Snuffleupagus. 😉 (Never lose your sense of humor either. It’s a necessity in times of stress and uncertainty.)


  12. We are praying for the Lord’s lovingkindness to pour over you and yours during this tough time. Keep us posted of your progress through this change in your life. Keep your chin up and hang on tight to Jesus’ hand.


  13. I am so sorry Bird for what you are going through. I don’t know what the future hold Bird, but I know who holds the future. This thought has kept me going, knowing that the one who holds the future loves me. May the Lord bless and keep you always.


  14. These painful moments are also defining moments, when we do something healthy for ourselves, it is also healthy for others…it probably won’t look or feel that way anytime soon. I know you’ll find a way through it, and I know you’re strong, resilient, instinctive, and spiritually attune. <<<>>>

    I wrote this for people like you: http://thefightofmylife.blogspot.com/2012/03/do-you-know-how-proud-i-am-of-you.html

    I offer no judgement, suggestions, advice, etc. I send you my heart, thoughts of healing, strength and courage and more <<<<>>>>


  15. I am learning the hard way that we come to crossroads a lot more than we realize. I have had to deal with loss so much this year and the only thing that I have become sure of is that it IS better to move forward…standing still gets us nowhere.

    You are a warm and insightful woman. I have read your words of comfort and guidence to others…now you must trust that you can listen to that inner voice for your own stength.

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers as I know the coming moments will be filled with a great need for your far-reaching circle of spirituality and faith to be with you. I have no doubts that it will be. Stay safe….Be well…Joanna


  16. Hi Bird, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. All I can say is we have cr@p times in this life and we have good times, and if we look back we find the cr@p times lead to good times. Whatever happens you are going to be ok. Love and hugs from the UK my friend. x


  17. Oh Bird, I’m so very sorry. Maybe you guys just need some space, to get clarity and to be able to see the way. Sometimes being so close, muddles things up. Whatever happens, I do believe that it will be what is best in God’s eyes, since you’ve walked all the way with Him. Praying for the both of you.


  18. Bird, my heart aches for you, and my prayers are with you. Should you find yourself visiting Virginia for any reason, drop me a line and I’ll treat for ice cream. I’ll continue to pray for grace and wisdom for both of you. Peace be with you. — Kelly


  19. My heart goes out to you both but I will say one thing some times time and difference put a different perspective on things and bring a clarity that can get swamped in everyday existance, no one knows what the future holds (or we would all have won the lottery by now) while love still exists between you then there is always the possibilty of remembering why you fell in love in the first place…I speak from experience me and the other half broke up for 8 months 5 years ago we had no contact what so ever but we both knew part of us was missing just took a while to individually figure out what we needed


  20. Bird Honey I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for you, for Chef, for your kids. Please take care of you first. Then you can focus on your children. It does no good if you’re broken and you try to help your children. You will not be able to function and make good choices if you are not in the best frame of mind. Why would we think less of you here? We care deeply for you. For your family. Your future. You’re a good person. You may be better without Chef. You may not. Only time and God will tell. Keep your chin up buttercup. Email me if you need to. I’m here for you. Always.


  21. i am so sorry to hear. I am a divorced woman, and my divorce was something i wanted so badly, that i told everyone i was going to celebrate big when it was final. although i filed and wanted it, it hurt terribly. i will also pray for you and Chef. I want for you to be happy and healthy, and I know God will lead you in the right direction if you listen to his voice. love you Bird. we are all here for you. always look for the shining light in the road ahead, and follow it…………


      • i mean them. i feel your pain, i really do, and i did not celebrate my divorce when i received the papers, i cried. change, leaving our comfort zone is hard and sometimes scary, but………as you say, u r strong. i know for me, u have held me up many times. this past two days has been hell here with too much bad news. if it weren’t for you and many others i don’t know what i would do


  22. For reasons I won’t go into here, I’m not able to read blogs much, but I know it was no accident I came across this last night. This was a sad one because I’ve walked down that road before myself and know what it feels like. The splitting and tearing away of two souls in a marriage. It’s kind of like a death actually. Jesus knows the burdens and pain you’re going through. You and Chef were covered by prayer when I went to bed last night. Jesus wanted prayer for you in that moment of time. He does want us to care and pray for one another. It’s priceless.
    When we can come to the realization that Jesus doesn’t intervene in our choices, problems and heartaches, but just Know He is there, ever present, through it all, His eye on the sparrow, still working things out, making the crooked places straight, making a way where there seems to be no way..all by his Mighty Spirit because we are His kids and He loves us so much….it gives a measure of peace and comfort. He does take the sting out of the worse heartache.

    Life can sure rough us up sometimes, and I’m needing “restoration” my self right now. I had such a bad day yesterday, I didn’t want anyone to “encourage” me, I just wanted someone to understand how I felt.

    “Restore” by Sherri Youngward

    The early Christians always said “peace and grace” to each other I think there is something very powerful in that.

    Peace and grace unto you, Bird



  23. “He does take the sting out of the worse heartache.”

    I am hoping so. Things are far from stable in my life, but lately I seem to be developing “sea legs”. I’m sorry you are hurting, too, Scarlett. I’m always here if you need to talk. Thank you for the video…You’re very kind.

    Peace and Grace to you, as well.



  24. Bird…
    I have missed your posts lately dealing with my own changes. So…I’ll tell you what i tell myself every morning.
    Root yourself (as you are) in the thing that never changes…cause everythign else does.
    🙂 hang in there friend…God has a wild plan for us all!


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