The Gift of Determination

English: A 2010 Girardin MB-II school bus belo...

I have to admit that while I’m happy with how my brain turned out now, it was more of a love/hate thing back when I was first getting started in life.  Our relationship began to have real trouble when I was in the third grade. Evidently, I was unable to keep up with the class when it came to math, and I was dispatched, to my utter dismay and humiliation, to a mobile classroom on the outskirts of the school for an hour each day. While the rest of my class stayed put, I would have to scoop up my flagrantly different math text-book, exit the class with my cheeks burning, walk the long distance to the Special Ed building, all the while feeling stupid,  and meet a sugary sweet teacher who would talk to me like I was not only mathematically challenged, but also having trouble understanding the English language. The whole experience was completely appalling to me, and I decided that I’d work extra hard on my own so I could get out of the Special Education Math Class.

To me, my circumstances have always been something that I felt I could change, if I could just figure out a plan of action. While I may have been lacking in the mathematical area, I more than made up for it in the determination area.

Evidently, I have always been a control freak.. 🙂

My plan was to get better at math immediately. Back then, though, there were no home computers, much less the World Wide Web, so I was a tiny bit unsure about how to go about becoming a mathematical genius overnight. Luckily, my mother had a set of Encyclopedia Britannica‘s, and I began my quest right there. Everyday after school, I would begin my research into a quick, sure way to improve my brain’s performance.  Often, I would get distracted from my mission, running across something entirely unhelpful, but way more interesting. And in time,  I found a little excerpt from an old research study that stated  how the brain worked in general, and had come to the conclusion that people who write with their left hands tended to have better mathematical abilities. Ah Ha! I thought.  All I needed to do, in my own estimation, was to teach myself to write with my left hand. This, I surmised, would “wake up” the right side of my brain, and I’d be a mathematical wiz…Good-bye, Special Ed Math. Hello, Popularity and Wealth. Actually, I didn’t really care about the popularity and wealth thing so much..just getting out of that humiliating class.

I had this gut feeling that I’d just stumbled on to a little known cure, and that soon, I’d leave my classmates in my mathematical dust…

So, I did exactly that. I practiced writing with my left hand for weeks, then months, and then years. To this day, I will occasionally write with it just to make sure I still can. I have so blended my left hand/right hand capabilities that I made myself somewhat ambidextrous.  🙂

But did it help my math abilities? I did catch up in math during my fourth grade year, and then later, in high school, I was able to hold my own, and to get good grades. I scored higher than average in math on my SAT’s, though I always find English grammar, literature, and the like easier to learn and understand, and those scores were higher than my math scores. I ended up working most of my life in accounting.

I have no idea if my little quest tricked my brain or not. Maybe, because I believed that it would make me smarter in math, it did. All I know is that I’ve learned that the brain is exceedingly magnificent and complicated, and we can train it to do what we want. Too cool!

One teacher that I admired and respected once told me that I was unusually logical, always breaking everything down to its simplest forms, which was actually a mathematical skill, and he thought it was unlikely that I was ever behind in math, but instead just wasn’t being taught in a method that I could learn from. Back then, in the 1970’s, the multiplication tables were taught by memorization, and he theorized that this method would not have been something I could have kept up with. A bunch of numbers memorized for reasons I couldn’t explain would not have been easy for me to retain. Instead, had the teachers shown me what exactly was actually being done when you multiply 2 by 2, I would have kept up just fine.

I remember thinking that I liked that teacher’s theory about my brain, but a tiny part of me wants to believe that in elementary school, I figured out a way to trick my brain into being smarter in math due to a little extra shot of determination. 🙂

— Bird

10 responses to “The Gift of Determination”

  1. I think it’s great that you can remember these times….I always wondered why I had trouble with math…so I just wasn’t taught the way my brain needed…lol Funny enough I ended up working in the accounting area of the last place I worked…but then there were adding machines and computers so that’s what I guess saved me….Diane


  2. I was born left handed, which in the early fifties was considered a bad thing by the education system. The teachers started teaching me to write right handed in the fifth grade, until my mother found out and had a conniption fit and came unglued all over the teacher. I have been ambidextrous most of my life.
    I did excel in the math and sciences during school and became an electrical engineer and programmer for General Motors. I wrote programs to run the big machinery. So I guess the theory being left handed and the right brain has some merit. However, my fellow engineers were right handed and could do the same thing which would put a damper on the thought.
    Your determination, though, is admirable and you proved you could do anything you set you mind on. Most kids and there parents would just give in today. Ashaming but true. I always thought you were pretty smart.
    Walk daily with God at your side!



    • lol..Thanks, Ed. The encyclopedias were from the 60’s, so the information was a bit faulty. But, I believed in what it was saying which probably made it more of a mind over matter situation, and less of a left hand/right hand thing. Still, it is a story I always told my kids when they would decide something was just too hard. I doubt any of them think there is anything out there they can’t do. 🙂


  3. I had a different approach to math (in high school, though) I tried to ignore it for the best part, but realized (almost too late!) that that attitude was not going to help me at all! 🙂 I admire your determination.


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