The Red Carpet of My Mind

It occurs to me that making friends on the internet is kind of an odd exercise when it comes to me. I spend a lot of time watching people…how they speak, what they say, body language, tone inflection, etc. Last night, I spent a good amount of time talking with Sara, and we talked for hours about subjects I’ve almost never discussed with anyone in my entire life, except maybe with Audra.

When I first set up my blog, it never occurred to me to not put my picture on my gravatar or in the About Me section…But some of my new friends on the internet chose to keep their physical appearance a secret. In fact, most of my Blogosphere friends who opted for anonymity have been assigned a “look” in my head based on some pretty goofy criteria.

For instance, Sara looks like Katherine Heigl to me in my head from 27 Dresses. I guess it is because of her alters, though I never really have analyzed why she looks like that specific character except that she gives not many hints about her physical attributes…

What Sara looks like to me in my head…


And then there is Terry, who has only ever told me that she is a tiny bit overweight, which is nothing much to go on because I know anorexic looking women who say the same thing. So, in my mind, Terry looks like one of my favorite actresses of all time — Kathy Bates, but specifically how she looked when she was playing Delores Claiborne..I loved that movie! And Kathy plays a wonderful, fierce caregiver in that movie for her friend Vera, who wasn’t always all that appreciative, and frankly I think she looks beautiful.

Terry looks like this in my mind…


The phenomenon works on anyone I tend to communicate with or about that causes any big emotion in me. For instance, any one who reads Sara’s site knows that her therapist recently violated her trust to a spectacular degree, is kind of arrogant and dismissive of her reactions to said violations of trust , has breached his code of ethics, if you ask me, and has been a general stumbling block to Sara’s fight to heal from her childhood sexual abuse. So, in my mind, this is what doctors who cause more damage than healing look like:

George Burns…or decide..

Last night, I actually had a better monkey picture, but after I looked closely at it this morning, I decided I wasn’t as brave as I was last Sara even dared me, but I can’t use it, so I lose this dare. But I think this picture pretty much says how I feel about people who misuse their power. 🙂

I wonder, does anyone else do this image assigning in their heads? Or is it just me that is so weird!!

— Bird


48 responses to “The Red Carpet of My Mind”

  1. Such an adequate description of T, would have loved to see the other monkey photo 😀 I like your concept of Terry and Sara, it does seem to suit their online personas doesn’t it?


  2. I try to follow bloggers who appear to use their real photos, particularly if they are aiming to break into writing – after all, they are building their brand, whether they know it or not!


    • Sara writes about some horrific stuff so I get why she doesn’t use real photos of herself. I was surprised at just how many people don’t use their real pics…


  3. I play on a game on fb which involves you interacting with other players in their game roles and have had quite a few shocks when I finally see their real faces on fb they always tell me that when they look through my pics the imagined image they had of me is pretty similar just a little younger lol


  4. I do try to picture the people I blog with too. I sent you a tweet of what I look like today so you don’t have to guess what I look like. I wouldn’t want to be a monkey or something worse lol.

    Walk daily with God at your side!



  5. That’s creative.. 🙂
    Well, I haven’t been able to make connections through blogging. There are certain blogs I love, hence, I have given these bloggers some space in my mind in manner of their writing.


  6. I think we all do that, especially if one communicates with people you’ve never met. It’s difficult to talk to some faceless body, so we imagine what someone might look like, based on the clues we get from talking to them. 🙂


  7. I do the same thing. I have the same problem with characters in my books. Some famous faces come to mind with heroes or side characters but I have yet to find a heroine’s face that fits my crisscross mind (although I LOVE that pic of Kathy Bates)!
    Keep going, girl!


  8. I suspect many people just don’t feel safe putting personal identifiers online. Call me paranoid, but ya don’t know what’s lurking out there!!! lol! It’s easy to get an IP address and go from there…


  9. I know I try to picture what a blogger may look like based on their writing. I also picture how old they may be. One of the bloggers I follow daily I pictured as an astute, intellectual male in his late 40’s maybe early fifties. I was STUNNED when I found out he is only “17”!!!!
    Most often, I’ve found in my 6 decades that the cover of the book (what we look like) is quite different than what is inside.
    Cute post Bird!


  10. You are not weird about this . . .I think it’s wonderful! For some reason it reminds of that thing were people can look like their dogs or vice versa. haha! We can look like our blogs!


  11. Bahahahahahahahahahahaha! I *do* have my picture up and I’ve posted a before photo on my blog when I wrote about losing weight,so there’s nothing for you to picture. I see your little gravatar, but when I read you, I picture Julia Roberts as Erin Brockovich! I picture Sara as Natalie Portman. I picture Anne as Meryl Streep. And (I promise you, I’m not making this up) I picture Terry as Kathy Bates, but from “Harry’s Law.” Diane (hometogo) is new to me, but I have assigned her Diane Lane in my head.

    Then there is Brent who write “From Pew to Practice.” I picture him as Michael W. Smith (a contemporary Christian artist). I don’t know why. I don’t even know if Brent can sing.

    Bryan Daniels from “Chief of the Least” blog, I picture as Joel Osteen. I believe both he and Brent are pastors or youth pastors.

    I follow Terra Newsome’s blog and just found out she is a fellow Fayettevillian. So, we are going to set up a lunch sometime soon and actually meet.

    I wish we could all have lunch together. I would even foot the bill. When I win the lottery, I’ll fly everyone to Savannah, GA and we’ll eat at The Lady & Sons restaurant (own by Paula Deen). Lord, that some good eating.

    Okay. The reason I’ve rambled so is because I now have Joshlyn from 7am to 5pm every day so my son and his gf can work. It’s hard to be young with a baby. And I love it that they trust me to keep her. But at 4 months, there’s no time to slip away to the computer and when she naps, I try to do my Bible study.

    Love you guys! Sandy


    • LOL!!! Isn’t it amazing what we picture..And Terry as Kathy Bates…Too cool!! I’m cool with the Julia Roberts as Erin Brockovich..I’ve been told I have attitude… LOL!! Hilarious! Have fun watching that little baby! That is some really hard work! Glad you found a minute to pop by!


  12. I had a number of photos of myself on another site (yuwie) but as far as I know, there is nowhere here to have a photo gallery. I do have a child photo of me on my ‘life story’ blog and I suppose I could add a current one there somewhere, but I prefer to keep with my cloudwatcher image for my gravatar.


  13. It looks like I may be the only man commenting. It would appear that there is nearly an obsession on appearance. With men, it is almost never about appearance, tho I wont deny that is the first thing we “see” about a woman when we meet her. With other men, its almost never about appearance, but what he does. We dont hand out awards for the “most handsome football player”, or the best looking half back. We do, recognize, however, the most yards gained, or most number of touchdowns. It has nothing to do with how one looks in a football uniform.
    Yes, we do want a woman who is beautiful to us, but remember God will put”blinders” on us that will cause us to think of the woman God chooses for us as the most beautiful on earth, regardless of what any one else thinks.


    • I believe you about the blinders. I went to Zumba last night and came in feeling all good and sweaty — what is the purpose of exercising if you’re not going to get sweaty? My husband was in the man-cave watching baseball so I thought I’d go grab a shower first.

      Alas, my daughter (who Zumba-ed with me) got there first, so I was sitting on the couch, still sweaty…and feeling yucky instead of good. Kelly comes in the house, grabs me up, kisses me and tells me how great I look. Ok, I tell myself, maybe I’m just “glistening” and not really sweaty.

      When it was my turn to shower, I took one look in the mirror and realized that I *was* sweaty and that Kelly was either crazy or he had his love blinders on.

      I am so thankful for love blinders. Sandy


  14. I have a couple pics on my blog so you know what I look like. My family says I often remind them of Kevin James (King of Queens). Same body type, but manerisms play a role as well. I probably watched his show a little too much.
    I have to say, it’s really difficult for me to connect with somebody if I don’t know what they look like. I’m a visual person. Maybe that’s the reason? But, for the most part the people I read have pics on their blog, so I haven’t had to imagine them as someone else. I’m sure I would, though.


    • I love King of Queens!! I even bought all the seasons on dvd because I actually started watching it when it was ending. My husband doesn’t look like Kevin, but he does have a lot of the same mannerisms… 🙂


  15. Couple of thoughts for the Bird Record with which her follower, that would be Lindy Lee in gravatar feline form, 1) Kathy Bates is a splendid actress, long admired & respected for her talents & endurance of medical issues; 2) In re: the monkey countenance chosen in place of what is suspected to have been a picture of the backside of a baboon. Thank you for this very entertaining post, Bird. When visiting your blog I can’t help but envision you on your bike, hair trailing in the breeze from beneath your helmet of course). Tee! Hee!


    • I love how you envision me. Thank you for adding to the Bird Record!!! I personally love Kathy Bates!!! And Sara used the monkey that I really envision the ridiculous therapist as…She’s braver than me!!


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