Mending Bridges

We have, in these days, a whole new internet vocabulary that most of us know like a second language. MySpace, Facebook, Email, Bogs, Websites. I never even said one of these words growing up, but today, you

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...
Image via CrunchBase

can refer to them to almost any person under 45 years old, and they know exactly what you’re talking about. People-watchers no longer have to go to the mall or to a bar to enjoy examining the elements of humanity. You just need an internet service at home and a computer. MySpace was my introduction to the world of social networking, referenced here when Caitlyn set up her site with the Grim Reaper and discussed smoking weed with her friends. As with most things digital, I learned about most of it from my kids.Facebook is the preferred social network in my family at the moment.

Within minutes of setting up my account, thousands of people’s profiles were at my fingertips. It was, at the moment, so cool! I would rack my brain for all the names of the guys I’d had crushes on in high school, or old teachers, or anyone else I could think of.

Suddenly, people you went to high school with, old boyfriends, or long-lost relatives were within reach. All you had to do was send a “Friend Request”, and boom! you have a front seat view of their life. And, even if the person didn’t approve you, there was still enough public information to abate the curiosity to some degree (that is how I got to see what my stepfather’s new wife looked like)…Very fun.

One thing that was interesting was to find old boyfriends that in high school, you just thought you’d die if they didn’t fall madly in love with you, and see what they look like now. Don’t lie. You know you all did the same thing!!

One of the people I looked up was Shane, my first boyfriend. I have always hated how I broke up with him, referenced here. All grown up and mature now, he was very kind to me when we touched base again, and mentioned that he liked this bandana I was wearing in one of my pictures.

Shane is in a band now, and I thought it would be fun to send him the bandana and have him post pictures of himself wearing it. Actually, the funny part is that it is red and yellow will big flowers on it. Shane was game, and here he is wearing the bandana:

Note the bandana — Mine!!

If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:18

I know it was long in the past, and didn’t count for anything, but it is nice to know that another person that I “happened to” forgave me. And he played!!

— Bird

12 responses to “Mending Bridges”

  1. I had a conversation with somebody not too long ago about who we were as kids. One of the things that came up was a tiff between myself and another friend. Am I sorry? Sure, but I am not going to apologize for things that I did as a kid until the end of time.

    However, will that stop me from “friending” to see how they are now? No. I am also a firm believer in the adage that “living well is the greatest form of revenge” There is a particular “mean-girl” that I allowed to friend me a couple of years ago. Wow was she not a nice person.

    Her life appears to be sucking. Mine isn’t and I talk about joy and happiness all the time 🙂


  2. Good morning!
    I know how you feel about being able to clear up the past with people we feel we’ve hurt. It is a marvelous gift to be able to find them, and if I feel I really was bad (not all is false guilt) I love finding they managed to live happily ever after in spite of me.
    I’ve been suffereing from dysfunctional Internet for about a week and I missed the “shame” post. However, now that I have read it, I grasp several things I never did before. Also read a book touching the same subject, a personal testimony from a girl who was mistreated during Hitler’s takeover of Germany. Her explanations also helped me grasp a few things, and I think for some people (me) it can take a whole book to answer the questions.
    Anyway, I am befriending a woman who had a horrible experience in her childhood, and from what she has told me (looking at it from the outside, as I do) I believe the day is coming that she will learn that her dad sold her to the next door neighbor, which will make it even harder if it is true and she ever is able to open her eyes that far. So I doubly counsel her that she was not to blame, but . . . there always is a “but” isn’t there.
    Her husband, who is a stong man of God, does not see this. He says it was partly her fault because, as you put it, and this is the part that has helped me, her child-body did want the attention, did receive some sort of gratification. This is so hard to write,and I hesitate to burden your soul with it, thinking you have enough already! 🙂 However, I also feel you opened this can of worms. I think my husband and I are supposed to counsel him to reconsider his requirement that she accept part of the blame. Hard. Scarey. He really is a good man, great provider, etc., and love the Lord, but I think he just doesn’t get it. And she keeps asking me about this one aspect of it all, as if she has trouble with it, herself. She’ll be just fine and then suddenly call me and sort of skid out of control on the one topic, her guilt.
    So thank you for more insight here and at the “shame” post. I need it. ❤


    • Oh, the husband is so wrong! I hope you can make him understand that! She is not to blame at all. Not even a little bit!! I will pray for this girl…The shame part is the most horrible part about that whole thing, and if my husband believed that, I don’t think I would have been able to move on!!


      • well the prince of the power of the air is having fun today.
        Posted a big replay and it evaporated.
        Mostly, how can I help her see he is wrong? More ideas. The outofbody thing helped me so much, though, so maybe that is the next thing to show her. I bet she experienced that, too. Sara did. The other author, Maria Anne Hirschmann, experienced it. I think that really opened my eyes.
        Maybe I’ll just give her the book I just read. Hmm.
        Maybe I’ll direct her to your site. Hmm. Now THAT’S a good idea. 🙂
        Thanks for your help, dear Bird. ❤


  3. i have one friend who hurt me very bad years ago, and i have never been able to truly get over it. i have forgiven her, i think for the most part, but when i see her in passing, all bad memories come to surface. i also am a facebook member, but i love word press so much more, it is more real, not just a gossip page and fairy tale pics


    • Me, too!! I keep FB to talk to Caitie and to keep in some kind of touch with relatives in case someone passes away. Other than that, I don’t use FB to communicate much…


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