Why Should I Trust You Again? Then Again, Why Shouldn’t I?

² “Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

⁴ “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
⁶ On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone —
⁷ while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels^[a] shouted for joy?

⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment

and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;

here is where your proud waves halt’?

¹² “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
¹⁴ The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
¹⁵ The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

¹⁶ “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
¹⁷ Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
¹⁸ Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

¹⁹ “What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!

²² “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,
²³ which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?
²⁴ What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,

or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
²⁵ Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,
²⁶ to water a land where no one lives,
an uninhabited desert,
²⁷ to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?
²⁸ Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?
²⁹ From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
³⁰ when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?

³¹ “Can you bind the chains^[b] of the Pleiades?
Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
³² Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons^[c]
or lead out the Bear^[d] with its cubs?
³³ Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God’s^[e] dominion over the earth?

³⁴ “Can you raise your voice to the clouds

and cover yourself with a flood of water?
³⁵ Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
³⁶ Who gives the ibis wisdom^[f]
or gives the rooster understanding?^[g]
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
³⁸ when the dust becomes hard
and the clods of earth stick together?

³⁹ “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions
⁴⁰ when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in a thicket?
⁴¹ Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?

My dad told me this story about when I was little:

“When you were little…about two or three, I’d say, I came home, and your mom was just tired. You’d talked her ears off all day. So, I said to myself, I’m just going to let her talk until she wears herself out. I said to you, ‘“Cathie, come here. We’re gonna talk.”’

A long time later, you were still going. I thought to myself, ‘” If I cover her mouth, her little rearend will blow right off.”’  Who knew I still wouldn’t be able to shut up, even today.

I’m sorry, Lord. You’re right. You have been the most trustworthy being in my entire life. I’m sorry that I am struggling with this doubt and fear. I will continue to trust that You know what is best for him, and for me. I will be quiet….even though my butt may blow off from the effort!!

— Catherine (Bird)

I’m A Casualty in my Husband’s War Against Time