Come at me, Bro

In the past I was a wily little kid. I got in fights in school and had a mouth on me that more often then not got me in trouble. I mean, no teacher LIKES being called a worthless bitch to their face… but hey, honesty has to start somewhere. Besides, I would rather not hear someone who has been in school their whole life tell me to ‘grow-up’.

After joining, I became a lot more tame. As it turns out, exercise is a great way to relieve stress. But not all

stress.

Years of studying my mother and sister have made my wit sharper, a real proverbial weapon. Its gotten to the point that sometimes I say things that are insulting and offensive, but I don’t realize it until much later. This became apparent at the hospital during my Personal Health Assessment. My reaction to probing and invasive questions usually leads to my somewhat darker humorous side. I don’t like being required to answer questions to a complete stranger.

Well, on this day, we were getting into the portion where they talk about drinking. Ok, that’s fine. But she said something off topic which led to me making a statement that I’m sure will haunt me for the rest of my tour in Misawa. “Why don’t you drive off base?”

Here it is, “Well, the roads are narrow and I don’t trust Asian drivers.” That is FINE to say to FRIENDS. To the PHA consultant? Not so much.

“Isn’t that stereotyping?” Asked my Asian looking PHA doctor. I could a) lie and try to salvage some sort of dignity or b) defend my position. I’m a terrible liar.

“Oh, come on. Have you even gone off base? They pull up to intersections like they’re drag racing but have to come to a full stop to turn in moving traffic. They will wait for a car 2 miles away to make a turn OR they will almost cause a four car pile up because they underestimate how close the cars actually are. I’ve been in car accidents and I’ve lived here for a year and a half. Forgive me if I don’t exactly trust their skills. If you drive like that after having to go to Drivers Ed for a YEAR then I’m sorry, but my life is not going in your hands,” I followed this with the best Come at me, Bro look I could muster. My points were valid.

She stared at me in shocked disbelief for almost a full minute. She typed something (I’m sure she suspects me to be a racist) and continued the PHA on a much more sour note than it had began on.

We’ll just say I’m happy I don’t have to do that again in Misawa…

-Bug