My husband is going through a mid-life crisis. As conflicts go, this one isn’t devastating at this point. He isn’t cheating. He didn’t spend our savings on a new Mustang or get his ear pierced. He doesn’t troll bars looking to extend his youth with youthful women. But I can see that he is sad, and that is almost worse to me. How do you show your beloved that he has lived a life worth living? That it isn’t over yet. There is so much more to come.
As with everything in my life, I tend to try to fix stuff. When my kids would come to me with problems, my first
knee-jerk reaction was to alleviate the problem. But instinctively I knew that I would be raising weak individuals if I gave into this reaction. I don’t mind fixing all my family’s problems when I can. But there are just some things I can’t fix, and this is one of them. Helpless isn’t a feeling I enjoy. In fact, I really hate it. When my son was 12, he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Manageable, but no cure. I thought my head was going to explode. And unlike some of my fellow Christians, I know Jesus doesn’t say yes to healing every time we ask. Oh, we continue to pray, but both Dj and I agree, Jesus is allowing this for a reason. And that reason will be used to glorify His Name. That’s good enough for us.
Now, I find myself in a similar position with my husband and his sadness over not accomplishing all that he had thought he would. And I know that my natural reaction to be primarily focused on how his problems affect me is selfish and destructive. Instead, I have to be quiet sometimes. I have to empathize as best I can, and treat his feelings about this with care and gentleness, despite what his moods and behaviors make me feel like. I have to acknowledge that his pain is real, even if I don’t really understand it.
This morning, after he headed off to work at 4 am, I changed my prayer to Jesus. It wasn’t about me at all. It was only a human girl asking Jesus to help someone I love more than myself that I’m simply helpless to help. And I felt a difference today. I’ve accepted that I am not going to talk him into feeling anything but what he is feeling. And Jesus does His absolute best work when we are at our weakest.
Today, I am going to remember that people aren’t always happening to me. Sometimes I am happening to other people. And then again, sometimes it has really nothing to do with me at all.
3 responses to “My Weakness Showcases His Strength”
i hate also being in a helpless situation
You are doing more than you think. You realize that in your weakness you will experience God’s strength! That takes faith, and faith will be answered… Blessings to you! Thanks for your post. 🙂